NOSEY BIO: Loud, brass, and tastelessly attired, I.B. Nosey is famed for his exuberant “Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter!” He seeks answers to the kind of probing questions no accredited journalist would deem intelligent, let alone newsworthy enough, to ask. Fleet of foot, wide of mouth, and fluent of tongue-in-cheek, I.B. Nosey’s unique interviewing style is comparable to none.

Winner of the Pukelitzer Award. Spokesman for Gum Drop Island’s confectionary plantation. Featured in InD’Tale magazine and The Woven Tale Press.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Julie Coulter Bellon Sparks with I.B. Nosey

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I’m coming to you from the apartment of *squints to read name beneath mailbox* Julie Coulter Bellon and she’s--

*Door flies open and a gallon bucket of water splashes through. Nosey shrieks and leaps aside*

NOSEY: Watch it, lady! You’ll short out my mike!

JCB: *stomps foot* Don’t just stand there! Help me put out this fire!

NOSEY: Fire? *wanders inside as JCB races back through hallway* Shouldn’t the fellas who drive the big red truck be called?

JCB: It’s just a kitchen fire. *grabs up extinguisher and sprays foam in the direction of pan atop stove* Save my book. It’s on the table over there.

NOSEY: *picks up book, glances over it, and raises brows* Ashes Ashes, eh?

JCB: I think that’s done it. *lowers extinguisher* This is just a bit too realistic for my Sophia.

NOSEY: Sophia?

JCB: My heroine. Read the blurb off the book.

NOSEY: Oh, right. Are you ever really innocent until proven guilty? Sophia Naziri is wanted for questioning in the murder of a U.S. senator.  She’s worried the police will show up on her doorstep any moment, but when Detective Colby Black appears, it’s to help her put out a kitchen fire, not take her in. Yet. *pauses* She caused this fire? *chuckles* How? By trying her hardest to recreate some Gum Drop Island fudge, but -um, obviously hasn’t conquered the knack.

JCB: No, but that’s very close. She was making fry bread and a newspaper headline caught her attention because it had to do with the murder she’s wanted for. She turned her back for just a second and well, everything spun out of control. *bats lashes at Nosey* I’m sure you can relate to that, right, I.B.?

NOSEY: Huh? *starts* Er…um…that is, hey, what was that about a newspaper headline and *gulps* murder?

JCB: As was stated, a U.S. senator was murdered and ended up in the trunk of the car Sophia was driving. So she’s wanted for questioning as to the why.

NOSEY: If you ask me, that’s a good question.

JCB: But I didn’t.

NOSEY: What?

JCB: Ask you.


JCB: She thinks that’s why Detective Colby Black appears. *waves hand* Read on. You’ll learn more about him.

NOSEY: Yeah, right. Okay. *clears throat* His easy smile and persistence in getting to know her pushes all her troubles to the back of her mind, until a hit man tracks her down. *whistles* Who sends the hit man?

JCB: A very bad man. I can’t mention his name because that’d ruin the surprise!

NOSEY: *gazes around kitchen* Might get a surprise when they turn up here, too.

JCB: *sighs* Her cooking skills, or lack thereof, is not what intrigues Colby. And the way to find out what intrigues him is for you to continue reading.

NOSEY: Sure. I’m intrigued by what intrigues Colby, heh heh.

JCB: *rolls eyes* Whatever.

NOSEY: Ahem. Picking up the narrative: Getting arrested becomes the least of Sophia’s worries and the handsome detective could be her only way out if she tells him the truth. Colby Black’s sniper skills have been a blessing and a curse to him. As a member of a Hostage Negotiation Team, he can use them to save people, but sometimes he can’t protect the innocent despite his best efforts. When a hostage situation goes bad, he tries to put it behind him by helping out his mysterious next-door neighbor, Sophia Naziri. *looks up* How did that hostage situation ‘go bad’?

JCB: So many questions! You certainly are nosy, aren’t you?

NOSEY: *puffs out chest* That’s my name. Questions are my game, heh heh.

JCB: *slaps forehead with palm of hand* How could I forget? Care for a cup of coffee?

NOSEY: Don’t plug that pot in a wet socket, lady!

JCB: *makes face* Oh, all right. I like cold frappuccino better anyway. *opens bottle and then leans against counter* To answer your nosy question - a hostage situation gone bad is all that it implies. You know, death and mayhem. *shakes head* Poor Colby.

NOSEY: *stares at charred pot atop stove* And poor Colby if he expects a gourmet meal.

JCB: Well, this isn’t Gum Drop Island. Life isn’t all about gingerbread shrubs and licorice trees, you know.

NOSEY: *raises brows* How come?

JCB: Because this is about Sophia and Colby. Shall I finish? *grabs book from Nosey and reads* But she pulls Colby into a web of lies and conspiracy that will force him to use every skill he has in order to survive. Faced with the moment of truth, can he trust anyone around him including the woman at the center of it all?

NOSEY: Uh oh. And what is that ‘moment of truth’?

JCB: *gives wicked smile* You’ll have to read the book to find out!

NOSEY: But if all this *waves arms to encompass surroundings* drama happens to Sophia, why is Colby so persistent in trying to get to know her?

JCB: Well, he’s intrigued by her. She needs his help but doesn’t want it. She’s beautiful and strong, but is obviously hiding something. It’s an irresistible combination for a detective!

NOSEY: No fooling? *mutters* I bet Heathcliff would.

JCB: *laughs* That possum is one tough character, for sure.

NOSEY: So. *sidesteps puddle on floor* What about you? You like to cook?

JCB: Let’s just say that I love to write. International romantic suspense novels because *dreamy expression crosses face* I get to travel to distant lands to research and add an authentic feel to all my books. My favorite cities are, so far, Athens, Paris, Ottawa, and London. Know what my goal in life is? You’ll find this interesting, Nosey. My goal is to find the perfect hiding spot for my Canadian chocolate stash.

NOSEY: *gasps* What stash? I have a feeling -and my sniffing-out-the-news-nose knows that your so-called stash is none other than stolen delectable delights from Gum Drop Island!

JCB: *clutches pearls* Well, I NEVER! My dear sweet mother sends me care packages of delectable Canadian candy to keep my sanity. *sniffs* I have never stolen so much as a chocolate chip OR a gum drop.

NOSEY: But--

JCB: I’ve earned a Secondary Education, English teaching degree from Brigham Young University and I’ve taught a journalism course there for 14 years. That experience got me in the habit of reading multiple newspapers every day and staying on the cutting edge of current events and world news - which is where I get my story ideas. So you see I’m too busy to go around stealing any candy from anywhere.

NOSEY: Well. *gives grudging shrug* What about that ‘cutting edge’ stuff? Doesn’t that shred your little tootsies?

JCB: I’m Canadian, so we’re extra tough. No problems there.

*Pounding knock sounds at door. Voice calls out* Open up!

NOSEY: Who’s there?

JCB: That’s Colby. *opens door and hero storms inside. He stops, glares at Nosey and points finger*

Colby Black: What are you doing here?

NOSEY: *glances around* Obviously looking for an exit, pal.

JCB: What’s wrong, Colby?

Colby Black: Read the beginning of that blurb again. It says that when the kitchen fire starts Colby Black appears - NOT this fool.

JCB: You’re so right, Colby. It does say that.

*Hero marches toward Nosey. Nosey shrieks and backs against edge of table. Hero lunges, misses, and Nosey streaks out doorway*

Colby Black: *on radio* Team, we’ve got an escaping target. Do whatever it takes to capture him. I want him pronto! What? His crime? Let me tell you, it tops the list. It’s absolutely insufferable. That long-nosed reporter dared to impersonate a hero!



Follow Julie's acclaimed writing, book reviews, and get writing tips at her site.



Ashes Ashes for sale at Amazon.