NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. I’m on my way to an important interview at ‘The Swiners Circus Ham-It-Up Convention’ and… *sniffs air* What’s that I smell? *turns to view area* ‘Athla Leet’s Locker Room’? Hm. *swings around like weathervane* My Nosey nose is always on the scent, and— ah, ha! That fresh just brewed aroma is coming from—
*Store door opens and woman pokes head out. Waves and calls* Hey, Mr. Big Nose. Over here!
*Second woman joins* Yo, fella! Move yourself this way.
NOSEY: You ladies want me? *chuckles* Always happy to oblige the fans. *strolls over and both women seize Nosey’s collar and drag him inside*
NOSEY: Whoa! Not so rough!
*Women plop Nosey in chair and call to other females who gather around* Look, everybody! Karenne, our first customer of the day!
*Beautiful woman approaches* That’s a customer? *frowns and shakes head* What’s he wearing on his face? That bathroom plunger better be clean.
NOSEY: *quickly wipes nose with hanky* Of course it’s— Hey, wait a minute. What’s going on? All I did was smell the coffee and you forced me in here.
KARENNE: You weren’t forced. You were invited - in a persuasive manner. *gestures at store’s interior* This is our Coffee Time Romance Shop. And they’re the coffee crew. *nods at circle of women*
WOMAN: He’s carrying a microphone. Will we be on television?
NOSEY: I interview for cyberspace.
KARENNE: Interview? *snaps fingers* That’d make a great promo op for us. Interview away, Mr. Plunger.
NOSEY: *snarls* The name’s I.B. Nosey.
HOLLIE: And I be Hollie. Enjoy some of our coffee. *sets cup in front of Nosey* Talk to us.
NOSEY: *makes attempt to rise* Sorry, I’m already scheduled for—
KARENNE: What’s your hurry? Here, have some chocolate with your coffee. *drops wrapped chunk next to Nosey’s cup*
NOSEY: I only eat the very finest which comes from Gum Drop Island, you know.
*Karenne and Hollie share glance*
KARENNE: Er, sure. Doesn’t everyone?
NOSEY: Well, guess I could stay for a minute, heh heh. *sits back down*
DANIELLE: I’m Danielle. *sits across from Nosey* Did you know we’re having a ten year anniversary come April?
NOSEY: Is that right?
KARENNE: It’s sure not wrong, mister. And we want to invite the public. You can do that with this gizmo, can’t you?
NOSEY: It’s called a microphone.
DANIELLE: Doesn’t look like a phone.
HOLLIE: It’s not micro, either.
NOSEY: I’m a professional. Trust me when I say I know what it’s called.
KARENNE: Looks like you’re got it upside down.
NOSEY: No, I— *clears throat and flips microphone around* So, uh, what’s happening for the anniversary? Planning a trip?
DANIELLE: A lot of things we do at Coffee Time is a mystery and we rarely divulge our secrets. Having said that, we hardly ever leave. Why would we want to? With the delicious chocolate and fabulous toys, it has to be something special for us to stay away at all. But when we do leave, somehow we get magically transported back. Some say it's the sling-shot effect from our straight jackets that transport us, but most likely, it's the special coffee reserved strictly for the Mistress. It's powerful stuff.
NOSEY: Yeah? *glances at coffee, then pushes cup away* Which one of you is this ‘Mistress’?
KARENNE: I guess that’s me.
NOSEY: Tell me about yourself. *shoves microphone in her face*
KARENNE: Well. *coughs and steps back* We started out as a bunch of friends and family who all had a love of books. We decided to start a yahoo group so we could all keep up with the new releases and re-releases so we didn’t miss any goodies. We’ve grown and expanded when we find new things or authors/readers ask for something new. Plus, it’s just fun!
NOSEY: Uh huh. What else?
KARENNE: I have to say more?
NOSEY: No. Say something besides ‘more’.
KARENNE: Um… I’m not an author. The only thing I can write is a ‘thank you’ note. I’m the mother of two and soon to have a daughter-in-law which has me so excited! I’m a stay-at-home, home school mom, and I volunteer for anything.
NOSEY: Volunteer, huh? Didn’t you volunteer to cater at my Pukelitzer Award dinner?
KARENNE: *brow puckers in thought* Sounds familiar. I believe we did. Why do you ask?
NOSEY: I’m not I.B. Nosey for nothing. I sniff out the news! And you all… *points accusing finger at entire group* balked at serving coffee and chocolates that night simply because Heathcliff the Possum made the opening congratulatory speech.
KARENNE: Who? Us?
HOLLIE: Are you kidding? Volunteering our coffee and chocolates are a daily delight for us. I'm thinking you need to take this up with Heathcliff because when we showed up with our fabulous coffee and chocolates in tow, Heathcliff was...well, playing possum. If I were you, I’d check his room.
NOSEY: I did. He wasn’t there.
DANIELLE: I heard him mumble something about, ‘An award for Nosey?’ and he collapsed to the floor in a spasm of laughter. *looks at Hollie* Is that when we found him and thought he needed 911?
HOLLIE: *nods* But while we were distracted our coffee and chocolates got stolen. And why not? After all, they’re decadent and delicious. The next thing we knew, Heathcliff was nowhere to be found.
NOSEY: *stares, mouth drops open*
KARENNE: You haven’t tasted your piece of chocolate. *rams candy in Nosey’s mouth* Chew away, buddy.
NOSEY: *makes face* This can’t be Gum Drop Island candy.
KARENNE: Why do you say that?
NOSEY: All of a sudden things have gone dark…*sways and collapses against top of table. Loud snores fill room*
DANIELLE: Karenne! *picks up candy wrapper and reads label* You fed him ‘Dipsy-Doodle Snores ‘n Roars’.
HOLLIE: *claps hands over ears* And his snores really are roars!
KARENNE: Darn! I wanted him to get a move on and thought I gave him ‘Zippidy Do-Dah Warp Speed’.
HOLLIE: You know how potent that cheap ‘Dollar Hollar’ candy is. Now he’ll sleep till the cow jumps over the moon. Followed by the sheep, the wolf, and the plate and the spoon.
DANIELLE: *giggles* I didn’t know you were a poet.
HOLLIE: *rolls eyes* C’mon, girls, we need to wake him up or we’ll never get our interview. Maybe he carries an anti-Dollar Hollar in one of his pockets.
KARENNE: Great idea. Let’s hurry. *searches through Nosey’s pockets and pulls out folded sheet of paper*
HOLLIE: What does that say? *snatches note, opens it to read, then shrieks* Oh, no! Noooo!
DANIELLE: What is it? *grabs note, then screams*
KARENNE: What? *looks from one to the other* What was found in his pocket? *rips note from Danielle’s fingers, reads, then cries out* Aacckkk!
WHAT COULD IT BE, DEAR READERS? JOIN US NEXT WEEK FOR ‘A COFFEE TIME ROMANCE INTERVIEW, PART 2’ TO DISCOVER WHAT WAS FOUND IN NOSEY’S NASTY LITTLE POCKETSES.
Check in with the Coffee Time Crew!