Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Coffee Time Romance Interview With I.B. Nosey, Part 2




NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. *eyes pop open, Nosey sits upright* Holy wake up call! Did I fall asleep on the job?

KARENNE: Er, yes. Yes, you did. You’ve slept for the longest time, Nosey.

HOLLIE: We’ve chugged coffee down your throat for a whole week but nothing worked.

DANIELLE: You’re supposed to be giving us an interview. *shakes finger* This won’t go well on our recommendation, you know.

NOSEY: Did you say a week? *gulps* I usually only sleep for one night. Let me check… *pats pockets*

KARENNE: You, um, looking for this? *extends note* We ‘found’ it. Accidentally. Truly. For real. *shares glance with Hollie and Danielle* Didn’t we, girls?

*Hollie and Danielle nods* We picked it off the floor. We admit that we did read it but, ah… *gives nervous laugh* we have no idea what it means.

NOSEY: Exactly what it says. *takes note and reads:…* Warning. If any careless person believes they’ll speed up an I.B. Nosey interview by shoving a cheap imitation of chocolate -namely, Dollar Hollar candy- into this tacky-blazer attired cyberspace reporter’s mouth, the result will cause a deep sleep lasting until the cow jumps over the moon. Followed by the sheep, the wolf, and the plate and the spoon.

KARENNE: Nosey, a disclaimer like that should be pinned right out in the open where anyone can see it. Make it visible. Like your nose.

NOSEY: Oh. Heh heh. Crazy about the nose, huh? *tilts face* Dig my classic profile.

KARENNE: *blinks* Yeech.

HOLLIE: Since you’re awake, Nosey, get started with our interview.

NOSEY: *checks watch* No can do. I’m late, I’m late for the Swiners Circus Ham-It-Up Convention and—

HOLLIE: You’re not the white rabbit. The Swiners can wait.

NOSEY: Listen, girlie. *glances over shoulder* I don’t wanna get on the wrong side of Boss Bore. It’s usually the side where he’s wallowed in his mud bath and… *shudders*

DANIELLE: But our coffee crew wants this promo for our ten-year anniversary. *gestures at group standing nearby*



NOSEY: Egads!! *leaps back* How many are on your crew?

KARENNE: We have 67 wonderful, talented, devoted, and crazy people! Oh, and not all of them are women *twitches brows* Bet ya didn’t know that!

NOSEY: I can’t interview 67 people! *mops forehead with hanky* Boss Bore will sit on me. *drops voice* Right in the deepest spot of that mud bath.

HOLLIE: Well, how about if you talk to just a few of us? They want to say a little bit about themselves and their favorite drinks. Puh-leeze?

DANIELLE: It won’t take long. Boss Bore can fry his own bacon for a couple of minutes, surely. *pushes Nosey back in chair*

KARENNE: Bacon? *grabs book and flips through pages* There are a lot of bacon recipes in this cookbook. Which would you like, Nosey?

NOSEY: *shakes head* You gals just don’t get it. I could wind up being served on a platter— with an apple in my mouth. *peers closer at book* There’s, uh, no recipe in there for ‘A Nosey Pork Pie’, is there?

HOLLIE: A recipe named after you? *hoots with laughter* Dream on. No, the reason Karenne has this cookbook is because Coffee Time also reviews cookbooks. How about that? And Karenne Lyn is a cookbook junkie. She’s working on getting just as many cookbooks as she has romance books. *gives conspirator whisper* She will never make it! She swears those romance books are multiplying like bunnies on her shelves. 

NOSEY: *looks at Karenne* And you’re a stay-at-home mom, right? How do you find time to read, review, do Yahoo chats and— *glares* Keep cyberspace reporters prisoner?

DANIELLE: Unlike you, Nosey, none of us sleep! Oh, and the Coffee Crew does what we love. So they’re all volunteers and help out where they can. Coffee Time Romance would not be what it is today without them.

NOSEY: But surely giving reviews gets monotonous?

DANIELLE: Great question! There have been times that reviewing can get that way. Luckily, it’s few and far between. It usually happens when I get a string of books that don’t hold my attention long because the plot is written poorly. But I know that as a professional, authors want the best review possible for their books.

*Woman grabs Nosey’s microphone* Let me answer that one too!

NOSEY: Who are you? And you don’t— *reaches for microphone but woman keeps it out of reach*

Llaph: I’m Llaph. I’ve been a reviewer for CTR for two years. Oh, sit down. *shoves Nosey back into chair with hard thump* I read a ton of books. I don’t find doing reviews as monotonous. The only issue I have is finding the right words to spit out.

HOLLIE: My turn now. *takes microphone* Yes, reviewing can get monotonous but only when you get a string of books that are good but you know with a little work they could be great. It’s disheartening to see potential not meet reality. *passes microphone around*

KAITLIN: And my opinion…

NOSEY: *groans* Is this gonna take long? *checks watch again, mutters* Maybe if I stop along the way and pick up a bottle of  ‘Squealee Oinkment Shampoo’…?

KAITLIN: Ahem, Nosey. Pay attention! As I was saying… Hmm, I’d have to say yes, reviewing does occasionally get monotonous. Mostly that’s because there are a LOT of recycled plot ideas within genres. This isn’t always bad, but after I’ve read one that was an exceptional 5-cup review, it’s really hard not to pick up something with a similar plot and say, ‘Yep, this is a poor man’s ‘Insert Title Here’.’

J.S. WAYNE: Reviewing can be a lot of fun, but there are times when it becomes a job—

NOSEY: And what about my job for Boss Bore? Come on, people! *snaps fingers impatiently* Get a move on. Give short answers.

J.S. WAYNE: But I thought you were nosy about our opinions on giving reviews?

NOSEY: *grinds teeth* Short answers. Short!

J.S. WAYNE: Whatever. *sighs* Anyway, yeah. I’ve encountered a lot of books where I really wrestled with what I felt would be a fair and honest rating. However, as a writer, I know and understand the value of an honest review so I try very hard to strike a balance between honesty and being unnecessarily harsh.

NOSEY: Goody. *yanks microphone away and steps to next member* Your turn. Short answer. Got it?

KITTY: Reviewing never gets monotonous. I try to review every book I read and avoid giving any spoilers. *shrugs* How’s that?

NOSEY: Purrrfect! And who are you? *turns to next crew member*

LOTOTY: Lototy.

NOSEY: Uhhh… Say what?

LOTOTY: No.

NOSEY: Huh?

LOTOTY: I don’t say that either.

NOSEY: *scratches head* Hm. Um. Er, that is…

LOTOTY: Here’s what I have to say about it. Reviewing is not really monotonous. Opening every book is like getting a gift, some you just like more than others.

NOSEY: Well said! And you? *steps to next member in line*

MAURA: Well, I guess doing reviews can get a little monotonous, but that is what vacations are for. A little time off and everything is fresh again.

NOSEY: Right. Fresh. Good point. *checks watch* And speeding right along… Who’s next?

DELANE: I’d like to remark that I’d never find reviewing a book as monotonous because that’d be like saying reading gets boring.

NOSEY: Makes sense. *edges closer to doorway* Folks, you’ve got a great group of people here but—

KARENNE: Nosey! We haven’t finished.

NOSEY: Aw, you’ve got to be kidding, lady!

KARENNE: You can’t leave without letting our readers know about our Coffee Time Contest.

HOLLIE: Because look what we’re offering for a prize! *presents beautiful box of chocolates*



NOSEY: Hey! *gives approving whistle* I’m familiar with this company. They purchase straight from Gum Drop Island.

DANIELLE: Of course. *flutters lashes* You didn’t think we’d dare offer a cheap imitation like Dollar Hollar candy, did you?

NOSEY: Who? Me?

KARENNE: So, Nosey, here’s what we want to do. We’re introducing a new line of coffee at Coffee Time Romance. But we need a catchy name.

HOLLIE: We want readers/commenters/posters to offer their best ideas. All entries will be judged, and the winner will receive this wonderful gift as a gesture of our gratitude.

NOSEY: A coffeelicious name for a new coffee devoured by the crew of Coffee Time Romance? *scribbles furiously in notebook* Winner receives Nosey endorsed brand of guaranteed-no-Dollar-Hollar-cheap-imitation chocolates. *snaps notebook closed* You got it.

*Door bursts open and hoarse voice roars:* And I’ve got my frying pan, boy!

NOSEY: *teeth chatters* B-B-Boss Bore!



BB: My Swiners Circus Ham-It-Up Convention ain’t waiting any longer for their lunch guest.

NOSEY: Wait a minute, pal. Let me explain—

BB: Speaking of lunch… *reaches inside apron pocket and withdraws object* I’ll wedge this apple in your mouth… *beady eyes narrow in menacing glint* And I think your long nose will work just fine for a roasting spit.

NOSEY: Aiiieeee! *shrieks and streaks out of shop, blazing a hot trail of fleeing Nosey footy-prints down the sidewalk*

KARENNE: *calls out* I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Nosey! A true professional must always keep their appointments on time

***********
For reviews, books, contests, and fun, visit the Coffee Crew at Coffee Time Romance!


***************

32 comments:

I.B. Nosey said...

Greetings, cyber coffer-time-contesters!

Be sure to leave a way to contact you in case your coffee brand name is chosen as the winner, and thanks for stopping by. Enjoy your cup of coffee today and thanks for feeling nosey, heh heh.

Gail Pallotta said...

Hello Coffee Time Staff, Miss Mae,
and Nosey

A great interview. I guess I better stay away from the Dollar Hollar coffee. I don't have time to sleep that long. Thanks to all of you for the great site. A name for your new coffee. Hmm. Off the top of my head, how about Books Brewing Coffee?

Diane Craver said...

This interview made me chuckle - nice way to start a morning! :)

How about Rich's Coffee Choice for the name of the new coffee? Rich because it will be a rich tasting coffee. Thanks for the fun contest!

Christopher Hudson said...

Hmmm ... I might be interested in some of that Dollar Hollar candy.
Good luck to you and your site, ladies (too bad it isn't Coffee Time Action/Adventure ... sigh ...)

Beth said...

What a great interview. I've always wondered if reviewing so many books gets to be a chore.

How about "Taste of Amore" for your coffee?

Laurean Brooks said...

Watch out for Boss Bore's frying pan, Nosey! Ouch! That thing could hurt.

Hi Karenne, Danielle, Holly and you other wonderful reviewers at Coffee Time Romance. I appreciate how hard you ladies work to give authors encouragement through reviews.

This was a great interview with Nosey. Don't let him get you into more trouble than you can get out of. LOL.

I have an idea for the the new coffee. You could call it EXOTIC BLEND or EXOTIC BREW.

My email: landtbeth@yahoo.com

traveler said...

A wonderful post. A new coffee name would be Puccini. love your site and features. saubleb(at)gmail(dot)com

I.B. Nosey said...

Fantastic coffee ideas, folks. Keep 'em coming!

Sandra Bartles said...

The background was so dark I couldn't read it! Sorry!

Connie said...

What a clever and humorous post. I just love the clothes, shoes and hairstyle of I.B. Nosey. He's hilarious!

Coffee name: Joe Juice

conniecape@aol.com

Eva Caye said...

Coffee name: Bodacious (short for Bodacious Beans)

katsrus said...

What a fun interview. Gave me a smile. How about "Readers Dream" coffee?
Sue B
katsrus(at)gmail(dot)com

Mona said...

Enjoyed the interview. Hmmm -- coffee name??? Let me think. How's about :

Bibliophile Brew or
Blogger Brew

monagargATyahooDOTcom

bibbiesparks said...

I just love the interviews how about Smooth Romance Chocolate Brew bibbiesparks@yahoo.com.

Eva said...

Hilarious posts! Enjoyed both weeks and wishing for more! :)

bossu49(at)aol(dot)com

Hollie said...

We had a great time doing the interview, just a shame someone ran away before we started talking about drinks.

clynsg said...

I really enjoy something that can make me laugh when I read it--a skill not all writers have!

E.L. F. said...

What a cute interview...I think you need more drinks for those of us who aren't coffee drinkers...but maybe literary latte or manuscript mocha or java gems?

elewkf1 at yahoo dot com

I.B. Nosey said...

Greetings, commenters! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. If you will please be sure to leave a way to be contacted? You can try to defeat the spambots by spacing out your eddy and adding AT or spelling DOT, etc., but just clicking on your icon won't always lead to YOU. My nose may be awesome, but I'm a reporter, not a blood hound... regardless of what anyone says!

Kimberley said...

loved the interview. A new name for a coffee brand Eloquent Grounds

kcnrhtx (at) charter (dot) net

Diane O'Key said...

I love your posts maybe more than I love coffee :-)So clever and quirkily amusing!

Diane O'Key said...

How about Bookin' Brew?

Carol L. said...

Great interview. This is the first time meeting I B Nosey. Hilarious interview. But interesting answers. I can see how hard it would be with reviewing wit having to read so many books. A name for a new coffee ? How about just, Readers Brew ? Just a thought :)
Carol L
Lucky4750 (at) aol (dot) com

168d7130-34d4-11e2-91ad-000bcdcb5194 said...

Hmmm...

Pages to Pour-Over
Redeye Reads (a redeye is a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso in it, apparently)

vitajex(at)aol(Dot)com

J Q Rose said...

Once again, IB is on the run. He did manage to get some interesting information from the reviewers. I never thought about reviewing getting boring or discerning varying degrees of storytelling success in the same plots. Now the entrepreneur side of me thinks the chocolatiers in Gum Drop Island ought to combine their chocolate with coffee for candy and a coffee. GDI Mocha. For CTR, I would suggest your new coffee would be Jamocha Joe with the secret ingredient...GDI Chocolate
Thanks for another zany interview! jqrose02 at gmail dot com

P.L. Parker said...

Fun post - love the coffee names.

Carol Burnside aka Annie Rayburn said...

Gotta agree with E.L.F. Never had a cup of coffee, though I do enjoy the aroma of it brewing.

Next Paige Coffee
Hazel's Nut Brew
Java Nut Blend



Solera Winters said...

Interesting discussion about the life of reviewers. Thanks for sharing Nosey. :)

Contact: solerawinters@hotmail.com

Larry Hammersley said...

I enjoyed the interview, Nosy and those ladies setting you in your place. It was very interesting to hear so many different takes on doing reviews Thanks for the insight.

Beth C said...

Hi- My idea names would include something with "Perk" (get it?)
Feeling 'Perky'
The Perk of Romance
Book Perks
or Up All Night
Page Turner Perk
How many suggestions can we make?
:-)
Beth C
bcornelsion @ comcast. net

ceblain said...

Love you method of reporting, I. B. Nosey!!! I need the chuckles.

Here are a few coffee names:

PERK UP YOUR DAY COFFEE
GRINDS TO THE GRINDSTONE COFFEE
FLAVORNOIDS FOR NERDS COFFEE
JAVA EXPRESSLINE COFFEE
HOW NOT TO GET DROWSY COFFEE
CAFFEINE FOR CREATORS COFFEE
SURE FIRED UP COFFEE
JOLT AWAY COFFEE

Thank you for entering me into the contest. Great blog. Just great.

Cynthia B.

ceblain(AT)tmlponline(DOT)net

Solera Winters said...

Java Romantique
solerawinters@hotmail.com