**********
NOSEY: Greetings,
cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! Today I’m
coming to you from— waaah! *crashes into structure*
ALEX: *hears
noise, throws open door* Nosey! *shakes head* Well, I’ve heard that
you always make an entrance, but... *reaches up to pull Nosey –face first—
out of side of door* Oh, man, Nosey. Your nose is really stuck. Wait a sec…
*grunts and yanks and grunts and yanks and grunts and yanks…*
NOSEY: *voice
muffled* C’mon, fella! Pull! This door isn’t made out of Nosey-ish material
and I—I— *with a loud whoosh, he pops out from steel door*
ALEX: *drags
Nosey inside* Did you really have to plow into the side of my spaceship?
NOSEY: Hey, it’s not
my fault. *gingerly touches nose* When you fly without a parachute, it’s
hard to direct your landing, ya know.
ALEX: Without a—? *mouth
drops open, then he snaps it closed* No, don’t even answer that.
NOSEY: *looks
around, and gives low whistle* Whoa, dude. What is this place?
ALEX: My spaceship,
like I said. You don’t know where in outer space you are?
NOSEY: Of course I do.
You’re speaking to the only Pukelitzer award winning cyberspace reporter. I’m a
professional. I know how to do my job. *backs against wall, trips
over feet, falls to floor*
ALEX: *quirks
brow. Remains silent*
NOSEY: And this
reporter… *leaps to feet, brushes down side of blazer* is here to
report, dude. Yeah, nobody reports like me. I’m the one and only, and I’m here
to report about you, Mr…er, um. Who are you, anyway?
ALEX: Alex J.
Cavanaugh. You’re to interview me about my book, CassaDawn. *slaps
hand to forehead and mutters* Can’t believe I signed up for this.
NOSEY: *chuckles*
Oh, yeah. That’s right. Uh, wait a minute. *checks notebook*
ALEX: Are you
serious? An old-fashioned notebook? Where’s your iphone?
NOSEY: What’s an
iphone?
ALEX: *blinks* Forget I asked.
NOSEY: Ah ha! *brightens
Yeah, something called CassaDawn by Alex J. Cavanaugh. See? *smirks*
Told you I’m a professional.
ALEX: *grunts* All right. So
let’s get started, ‘cause… *walks to console* I’ve got lots of work to
do.
NOSEY: No problem,
pal. I’ll just nosy around while we talk and check here, and look there— whoa! *opens
closet door and jumps away* Holy Creepy Buggers! What’re these?
*Two large
creatures jeeber and jeep and twitter and tweep*
ALEX: Oh, don’t mind
them. That’s Quazy and Qootsie. They’re my pets. I got them at the planet ‘Upon
a Blue Moon’.
(So these aliens aren't exactly as Nosey described, but do you think a real pic of Quazy and Qootsie can be found at the stock photo sites?)
NOSEY: But they’re
green!
ALEX: *frowns in
thought* Good point, Nosey. Maybe it wasn’t at ‘Upon a Blue Moon’. Maybe I
picked ‘em up at ‘Chlorophyll Café’ while I refilled my energy tanks in the Z.P.D.
Doo-dah quasar system.
NOSEY: *gulps* They’ve got
only one eye, dude. Yeah, and one ear and five legs and…
ALEX: *scribbles
on computer screen with fancy-dancy, personalized Alex J. Cavanaugh
space pen* Watch it, Nosey. They do like to snuggle.
NOSEY: Heh heh. *tugs
at collar and edges away as pair of ‘holy creepy buggers’ creep up in an unholy creepy buggy kind of way* Maybe this would be a good time to read the blurb
of your book, Mr. Cavern…er, Mr. Cave-Man, I mean—
ALEX: That’s Alex J.
Cavanaugh, and that’s a great idea, Nosey. *touches computer key and image
of book pops up*
ALEX: Here we go: ‘CassaDawn’ The prequel to the
Amazon best-selling Cassa series! A pilot in training… Fighting the odds, Byron
is determined to complete Cosbolt training. Poised at the top of his class,
only one situation holds him back—his inability to work with anyone in the
cockpit. Byron’s excellent piloting skills won’t be enough without a good
navigator…
*Sounds of Nosey
slapping green ‘holy creepy buggers’ skin*
NOSEY: Don’t touch the
threads of my tweedy-weedy blazer, guys!
ALEX: *glances
across shoulder* Having trouble, Nosey?
NOSEY: Who? Me? *wipes
sweat off brow* Er, no. No. Heh heh. Your pets, they’re… *grimaces* Snuggling
too close. Yeech! *shies away as ‘holy creepy buggers’ flutter
eyelashes* Can’t ya call ‘em off?
ALEX: Why? They love
to hear about my Cassa series.
NOSEY: Ya think so,
pal? I bet they don’t even know what the Cassa’s a series of.
ALEX: Ah, sure they do. CassaDawn is the
free short story that leads into the full-length science fiction trilogy. *grins*
Hopefully, your readers won’t say it’s a series of unfortunate events.
NOSEY: Yeah, I— huh?
ALEX: So what can I
tell you about Byron?
NOSEY: *gives
fast look around* Who’s he?
ALEX: *sighs* C’mon, Nosey.
Byron. The guy in my book.
NOSEY: Oh. That Byron.
*edges away from ‘holy creepy —well, those same green buggers
as before* Yeah. So who’re those odds he’s fighting?
ALEX: Say what?
NOSEY: You know. You
said Byron’s fighting the Odds. *jerks thumb at buggers* They any
relation to these fellas?
ALEX: Hm. Well, they are
green skinned with big eyes…
NOSEY: I knew it! *skirts
past a ‘far out’ space chair*
ALEX: *laughs* Byron’s ‘odds’
is his rebellion. It’s kept him on a very tight leash most of his life, his
personal world invaded on every level. He’s not expected to succeed, you see,
surely not as a top-level fighter pilot.
NOSEY: Uh huh. And you
said he can’t work with anyone in a cockpit.
You -ah- *searches beneath table, behind chair, behind Alex’s
back* got a cockpit stashed away in here?
ALEX: Well, it’s like
this, Nosey. Cassans can communicate telepathically, something that’s demanded
of a Cosbolt pilot and navigator.
NOSEY: Yeah? What’s
that mean?
ALEX: It means Byron
doesn’t like that connection. It all goes back to feeling invaded, you know.
And, to answer your question about a cockpit — That’s where a pilot and
navigator sit. And, um…*gives mock cough* not to be confused with
where roosters fight. Or anything to do with—
NOSEY: *screams* Get away from
my tweedy-weedied blazer pockets, you itchy fingers holy creepy buggers, you!
ALEX: That’s curious.
*narrows gaze* What’s ya got in those pockets, Nosey?
NOSEY: Listen, Mac. *runs
to other side of room to escape from green buggers flexing their itchy fingers
in the depths of his bulging tweedy-weedied blazer pockets* I’m the
interviewer. I ask the questions.
ALEX: *shrugs* You do know that
I communicate telepathically with Quazy and Qootsie?
NOSEY: *slams on
brakes and stares at Alex* For real?
ALEX: Course I do.
What kind of space fiction interview would this be if I didn’t?
NOSEY: *lips
curl in suspicious sneer* You can’t read my mind.
ALEX: Actually,
you’re wanting to know what Cosbolt training is.
NOSEY: *gasps* I am?
ALEX: Aren’t you?
NOSEY: Uh, well. *drops
voice to whisper* Since you mentioned it, I’ve got a Nosey feeling
Cosbolt’s got nothing to do with Gum Drop Island chocolate, does it?
ALEX: Nope. And it’s
got nothing to do with elves, either - Keebler’s or Santa’s ‘cause the Cosbolt
is the elite space fighter ship. Those who fly her require several years of
training. CassaDawn features the simulator-training phase.
NOSEY: Does it feature
your pets too?
ALEX: No way. *winks*
I brought them along especially for this interview.
NOSEY: Well, you
didn’t do me any favors, bro. *bares teeth as green buggy pets jeeber and
jeep and twitter and tweep and close in around Nosey*
ALEX: Ah, Nosey.
They’re not making you feel insecure, are they?
NOSEY: Me? *puffs
out chest* Hey, I’m the official unofficial reporter, and insecure is my
middle name. *pauses* Uh, wait a minute.
ALEX: *grins* Yes?
NOSEY: Uhhh… *thinks,
and then thinks again* Okay. What I meant was is that you have an insecure
group, right, that you’re a leader of?
ALEX: That doesn’t
sound any better.
NOSEY: But—
ALEX: Get your facts
right, Nosey.
NOSEY: But—
ALEX: The fact is
that I have a blog called ‘The Insecure Writers Group’.
NOSEY: Yeah. You offer
support, right? Like Lego blocks?
ALEX: Well, an
insecure writer is pretty much every writer. We have concerns, worries, fears,
issues - it’s a lot of fun. Want to join us?
NOSEY: Yeah, I— huh?
ALEX: *snaps fingers* Oh, that’s
right. You’re an interviewer, not a writer. So guess you don’t need our support
that’s more like Lego blocks and less like—
*Alarm bell
rings and spaceship veers violently*
ALEX: *takes
command of steering wheel. Yes, steering wheel because every spaceship has one.
Right, Alex?* Time to end the interview, Nosey. The space air marshal is hot
on my tail. I’ve gotta outrun him.
NOSEY: What? Why? *spins
in agitated circle* You a space bad guy? What’d ya do? Steal a couple
thousand of Milky Way Bars?
ALEX: Ha! That jerk’s
been after me ever since I stole his girl.
NOSEY: B-b-but I
thought you were a bachelor!
ALEX: Of Fine Arts,
yep.
NOSEY: So you stole
Ms. Fine Arts?
ALEX: Huh uh. I
stole, and managed to wed, Ms. Fine-Looking.
*Ship streaks
across galaxies, comets, planets…and lots of other spacey-kinda constellations*
NOSEY: Whoa! Can’t you
drive, fella? What kinda pilot are you? *thuds against spaceship wall while
Quazy and Qootsie look kinda Queasy*
ALEX: You gotta exit,
Nosey, cause you’re not allowed in any CassaDawn Outer Limits. *pushes button and space
door unlatches.*
NOSEY: Huh? Whadda
ya…? Aiiii! *falls into the depths of
black and white, spooky, really creepy Twilight Zone*
ALEX: Nosey! Watch out for— *winces*
My apologies, Mr. Serling.
*************
Alex J. Cavanaugh has a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and works in web design, graphics, and technical editing. A fan of all things science fiction, his interests range from books and movies to music and games. Online he is the Ninja Captain and founder of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. He’s the author of Amazon Best-Sellers CassaStar, CassaFire, CassaStorm, and Dragon of the Stars. The author lives in the Carolinas with his wife.
Find Alex here:
Amazon
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And, did you also know that a short tale about me, I.B. Nosey, your intrepid internet reporter is FREE for you to simply download? Yes, come meet your
Fated Destiny...Oh, Yeah! heh heh
