NOSEY BIO: Loud, brass, and tastelessly attired, I.B. Nosey is famed for his exuberant “Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter!” He seeks answers to the kind of probing questions no accredited journalist would deem intelligent, let alone newsworthy enough, to ask. Fleet of foot, wide of mouth, and fluent of tongue-in-cheek, I.B. Nosey’s unique interviewing style is comparable to none.

Winner of the Pukelitzer Award. Spokesman for Gum Drop Island’s confectionary plantation. Featured in InD’Tale magazine and The Woven Tale Press.


Thursday, April 21, 2016

Lynn Lovegreen Has a Golden Interview with I.B. Nosey



NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! Today I’m coming to you from…*frowns* Um…from… *gallops in ever widening circles like a loco moose who’s lost his way because…* What’s da matter with this atomic-iSmart-uNot-microphone? It’s supposed to lead me in all directions, and glow like a red-hot firecracker so that my Nosey nose will… Aack! *slams face-first into woman who suddenly appears*

WOMAN WHO SUDDENLY APPEARS: Hello, Nosey. You’re only… *checks watch* a month, twenty-five days, sixty-three hours, and a squad zillion seconds late for our interview.

NOSEY: I am? *wriggles brows* Heh heh, counting the time to see me, eh?

WOMAN: Ugh. *mutters* Guess I fell into that one.

NOSEY: Whoa! *backs away* What’s that doo-hickey you got there, girlie?

WOMAN: You mean my dog sleigh? I needed a way of transport to get here, Nosey.

NOSEY: That’s a dog? *points at snarling creature* His teeth are so, so…fang-like.

WOMAN: He’s a wolverine.

NOSEY: But I thought you said you had a dog sleigh!

WOMAN: *shrugs* Dog. Wolf. Coyote. Wolverine. Whatever. Anyhoo, Nosey, our interview, remember?

NOSEY: Uhhh… *keeps safe distance from large fangs of ‘wolf/wolverine/coyote/whatever/dog* Yeah. Sure. And…um…you are…?

LL: Lynn Lovegreen. *sighs* You don’t recognize me? I bet you can’t remember my book either, can you?

NOSEY: Er… *scratches head*  Got something to do with a dessert…

LL: Dessert? *snorts* That one’s of your half-baked ideas again.

NOSEY:  Baked. Yeah! *snaps fingers* Baked Alaska, right? Heh heh. I never forget a book title.

LL: Alaska, yes. *gestures at rugged, outdoor environment* Lookit the snow. What can possibly be baked here?

NOSEY: B-but… *fumbles in pockets* I’ll show ya. Sure I will ‘cause I’m a professional reporter, ya know.

LL:   Since when?

NOSEY: Since I— huh?

LL: *clicks tongue* My book title, Nosey. What is it?

NOSEY: Gimme a minute, will ya. *pulls lint from pockets, pulls more lint, most lint, extra lint, supersize lint, tweedy-weedy lint, polka dot lint, dirty lint, clean lint, recent lint, last week’s lint…*

LL: Stop! Enough with the lint, already! *rubs eyes* You’re making a dust devil.

NOSEY: But look what I found. *produces book* Ah ha! And the title goes like, ‘Alaska or Bust’, right?

LL: No.

NOSEY:Bust or Alaska’?

LL: No.

NOSEY:Alaska Bust’?

LL: No.

NOSEY:Bust Alaska’?

LL: Oh, good grief. *slaps correct copy of book in Nosey’s hand* You’re not in Hollywood, you know, so take off those funky dark sunglasses and read the title.

NOSEY: *looks once, looks twice* This can’t be right, lady. It says ‘Gold Nuggets’. That’s a funny name for baked Alaska.

LL: *sighs* Nosey, sometimes I wonder how you make your way home.

NOSEY: I just follow my nose, heh heh.

LL: Yeah, well. *clears throat* Forward and onward. Want to let your admiring public know what ‘Gold Nuggets’ is about?

NOSEY: I was just gonna do that. It’s my job, ya know.

LL: *smiles demurely* Go right ahead.

NOSEY: *eyes narrow* Hey, what gives with that smile? I smell something fishy.

LL: I think that’s your aftershave.

NOSEY: Yeah, I – huh?

LL: *slaps hand to forehead* The blurb of my book, Nosey. Read the blurb!

NOSEY: Sheesh, pushy female. What’s the matter? Didn’t you get to finish your Baked Alaska?

LL: Ohh! *snatches book back and reads*:In the shadow of Denali, she has a home, and he finds adventure. Charlotte Cooper wants to stay near her parents’ home in Alaska. But her dreams of being a writer call her away to college or work, and she has to choose her own path in life. Henry Reeves is a wealthy New Yorker seeking a summer adventure when he travels to Kantishna near the proposed Mt. Kinley National Park. He discovers two passions, one for Charlotte, and the other for keeping Alaska wildlife from being wiped out like the buffalo.’

NOSEY: *whistles* Wow, Denali must be a big guy if he can cast a shadow big enough for Charlotte to have a home!

LL: *coughs* Denali is a mountain, and yes, it’s big. As a matter-of-fact, it’s one of the few things bigger than your nose. Hard to believe, huh?

NOSEY: *snarls* Whadda ya mean by that?

LL: Well, I dunno. *glances at Nosey’s shoes* Maybe your feet are bigger than your nose too?

NOSEY: Hey!

LL: *grins* See the way my dog is sniffing ’em? What’s ya got hidden in them shoes, Nosey?

NOSEY: Nothing. Nothing, I tell ya. *leaps back from eager-eyed wolf/wolverine/coyote/dog/whatever* Get away, pooch!

LL: He’s just friendly, Nosey. Ahem. What else can I tell you about my book?

NOSEY: Uhhh… *keeps wary eye on…um, er, uh..dog?* I was gonna say something about Charlotte’s dreams.

LL: O.k. Like what?

NOSEY: Like, can a ‘dream’ call her away? I mean, dreams can make phone calls?

LL: Why, sure. Didn’t your dream to be a world-famous reporter call you to travel to exotic places like Gum Drop Island, and the Hi-Octane Caffeine Coffee Shop?

NOSEY: *blinks* You’ve been to the HOC Shop?

LL: Hasn’t everyone? *licks lips* Mm. I love those Choffee™ drinks, especially the ‘Nosey’s Favorite’ one. Would you happen to have a cup with you?

NOSEY: Who? Me? *slaps protective hand towards bulging ankle socks* Why’d ya ask that?

LL: Why not?

NOSEY: Listen, I’m the only one who’s nosy here, but if you gotta know, it’s ‘cause the Choffee™’s all mine!

*Wolf/wolverine/dog/coyote/whatever growls and edges closer*

NOSEY: Yikes! *Nosey leaps behind Ms. Lovegreen and peers over her shoulder* Um, er, say Ms. Lovegreen…

LL: Yes? *purrs question*

NOSEY: I’ve gotta… *tugs at tie*… make this interview short, ‘cause I’m, like, needed at the balloon factory, you know?

LL: *nods* I see. They need you to replace the hot air canisters, huh?

NOSEY: *mouth drops open* Say what?

LL: Don’t worry, Nosey. *waves hand at wolf/wolverine/dog/coyote/whatever* Savage will be happy to escort you.

NOSEY: His name is Savage? *pales*

LL: Cute, huh? Okay, I’ll…*checks watch again*… give ya a couple of more minutes. What else do you wanna know about ‘Gold Nuggets’?

NOSEY: Er… *gives nervous chuckle* I was nosy about something you said.

LL: So, spill it.

NOSEY: Yeah. It’s that Henry Reeves guy. You said he has ‘two passions’, but that can’t be right.

LL: No? How come?

NOSEY: ‘Cause some of his passions are Gum Drop Island candy, Gum Drop Island Choffee™ drink and loving my interviews. That’s… *glances at fingers*…um, that adds to…er….

LL: *purses lips* Three. Yes. Hm. However, remember, Nosey, that they don’t have Gum Drop Island goodies up in Alaska. Can you schedule a shipment to us?

NOSEY: Me? Hey, in case you’ve forgotten, I’m a Pukelitzer award winning reporter. That means I don’t do mundane things like ordinary mundane paperwork that ordinary mundane folks do.

LL: ‘Ordinary mundane paperwork folks’? *plants hands on hips* Are you referring to writers?

NOSEY: Uhhh….

LL: And another thing. *shakes finger in Nosey’s nose* About those Nosey interviews, you’re not famous enough—yet?—for Henry to have heard of you. Not everybody knows about the Pukelitzer.

NOSEY:  *stares* Whatsa matter with you Alaskey…um, Alastic…er, Alaskianians? Don’t ya have internet up here?

LL: Don’t get personal.

NOSEY: I’ll get personal all right. I’ll ask Henry myself.

LL: You will, will you?

NOSEY: You bet your igloo lovin’ iceberg feet, I will. Yeah, and while I’m at it, I’ll just ask how he got to be so wealthy. My public’ll wanna know that. Uh huh.

LL: Oh, don’t bother Henry when I can answer that. He inherited his wealth, of course. His family hangs out with Teddy Roosevelt’s.

NOSEY: Who?

LL: Folks who enjoy the wildlife up here, just like Henry does.

NOSEY: *looks around* I don’t see no wildlife, except for… *gulps* That Savage wolf/wolverine/coyote/whatever/dog.

LL: Mm. He’s not the only one here, you know.

NOSEY: *starts* You looking at me? You mean I’m wildlife?

LL: Er, there’s wild life like you, and there’s wildlife. This kind of wildlife that Henry enjoys usually comes with fur or wings. *nods* Yes. Come to think of it, poor Henry does gets spooked by a grizzly bear and charged by a mama moose, but he still enjoys Alaska.

NOSEY: Well, if you ask me… Aack! *leaps away as that wolf/wolverine/coyote/whatever/dog/wildlife thing’ lunges* What’s the matter with ‘im?

LL: He’s probably wanting a snack. We waited so long for you that he missed breakfast. *clicks tongue in sympathy* So, since it’s your fault that his stomach is empty, you have anything to feed him?

NOSEY: Me? *backs away and shakes head vigorously* No. No. Nothin’.

LL: Really? *narrows eys* ‘Cause he’s smelling something on you, Nosey, and it's not that stinky aftershave.

NOSEY: B-b-but…

LL: I know what’ll soothe this savage beast. *smiles at wolf/wolverine/whatever/coyote/wildlife/dog* Hey, fella. Don’t ya think this official unofficial reporter’s nose kinda looks like a big, delicious bone?

NOSEY: Ms Lovegreen, what’re ya— *screams and spins away as a growling and snarling Savage pounces* Ow! Ooh, ouch! Get away from my ankles, you half-baked, aftershave-breath werewolf!

*Savage tears at Nosey’s socks, and whaddaya know. A ton of Gum Drop Island goodies spill to the ground. With the ravenous ‘wolf/wolverine/coyote/whatever/wildlife/dog’ nipping at his heels, a shrieking Nosey speeds across the Alaskan wilderness, over the trees, up the trees, around the trees, through streams and screams, past valleys and dales and… Well, you get the picture*

LL: Say! There’s one of ‘Nosey’s Favorite’ Choffee™ drinks. I’ll just take an itty peek inside and see exactly why it’s his favorite. *picks a cup from the pile and rips off top* I don’t believe it! *calls to wailing, disappearing Nosey* Hey, you Pukeliter award winning thief! This is filled with Alaskan gold nuggets!


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Available at Amazon

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Visit Ms. Lovegreen at her site

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Pat McCuen Draws a Fine Line with I.B. Nosey




NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! I’m officially unofficially on my way to an interview with… yuck! *sounds of struggle* Hey, what’s this goop on the sidewalk? I - can’t - *strains* get -loose…

VOICE: Nosey, that’s an official unofficial ink puddle. My ink puddle, as a matter-of-fact.

NOSEY: Huh? Who are you? Wait… you look kinda familiar with that bearded jaw and— what’s that crazy gizmo you’re clutching so tight there, pal?

PM: Name’s Patrick McCuen. And this is my pencil. It never leaves my side.

NOSEY: A pencil? Who uses pencils these days, fella? Everything’s gone wild and ‘net techy, just in case you’re not rolling with the latest news.

PM: But you are?

NOSEY: I are what?

PM: Yeah, I’ve often wondered what you are too.

NOSEY: Sure, I’m— huh?

PM: *chuckles* I’m techy, Nosey. But I happen to need pencils.

NOSEY: For what? Adding two and two? Let me help ya out there, dude. Two and two comes to the grand ol’ sum of…uh…er…um…

PM:  Uh huh. Like I said, I need pencils, Nosey, for drawing things. Like my comic strip, “The Devil & Gandhi”, mushrooms, greeting cards. And you.

NOSEY: Whoaaa! *blinks* Me? Did you say me?

PM: Yep. As a matter-of-fact, you’re right now in the middle of my newest ink puddle sketch.

NOSEY: *frowns in thought* Ya know, there's something about you... Yeah! *snaps fingers* Your beard, that’s what it is. Did ya know that curly strand number 1,356 does NOT match strand 1,357?

PM: *whistles in wonder* You can count?

NOSEY: You bet your inky pinkie fingers that I— heyyy!

PM: But there’s a problem, Nosey.

NOSEY: There sure is. You’re smearing smudges all over my atomic Nosey microphone!

PM: Not that. It’s your dark sunglasses. Maybe I need to lighten ‘em up a bit…

NOSEY: *sounds of hand slapping* Don’t touch me, fella. Haven’t you already done enough?

PM: Like what?

NOSEY: Hellooo! Like the smudges, Mr. Artiste. Yeah, and besides that, you’re the one who gave me this long, pointed nose.

PM: But, Nosey. It fits you.

NOSEY: Yeah, well, this blazer doesn’t fit. Does NOT fit.

PM: What’s wrong with it? I thought you were hip-hop cool about your...shall we say, unique... coloring.

NOSEY: Nothing wrong with the tweedy-weedy style, man. The problem is that you left off my muscles!

PM: *coughs* Um. Did you say muscles?

NOSEY: Yeah, give me huge Rambo muscles. After all, if you’re gonna sketch a macho guy like me, ya need to get it right, heh heh.

PM: Ah. I do see one muscle that needs a touch-up.

NOSEY: Which one?

PM: Your mouth.

NOSEY: *gasps* No dice, fella! *pulls leg out of sticky-wicky ink puddle* I’m outta here!

PM: Nosey! *races behind the fleeing Nosey* Get back to my drawing board!

GANDHI: *awakes from meditation and watches the bizarre scene*…Friends, remember this wise Gandhi proverb: ‘Where there is no Nosey, there is peace and sanity.’

NOSEY: Hey, you. Mind your own business! *streaks past Gandhi* Don’t be giving this mad cartoonist any bright ideas!

PM: Too late, Nosey! *waves pencil in air* I have an eraser and I know how to use it!

NOSEY: Aaaiiiiii!



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Visit Pat at his site, The InkPuddle

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If you enjoyed this interview, schedule your own family-friendly work/site. Contact Nosey via the Form on left-hand side of this blog!

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Ray O' Sunshine Here, Mon'

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! Look who's making the news today!






Uh huh, it's Ray O' Sunshine, mon', straight from the spores of Moldy Corners.

Uhhh, you know who he is, right?

We spoke about him right here in our introductory book, "Ahoy, Gum Drop!" Or, if you'd rather give a listen, enjoy this sample at Audible. Or try iTunes. Yeah.

So, without further ado, mon' (see, Ray O' Sunshine can even impress a celebrity journalist like me, heh heh), here is Ray and His Spotlight's new hit single, "Gum Drop Island, O Baby!" (be sure to click the link, friends)





Sunday, December 6, 2015

Cover Reveal!

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm sharing a cover reveal of Ahoy, Gum Drop!, that delightfully deliciousness-ness tale where I'm 'introduced' to the public. Like a famed celebrity like me needs a formal introduction, right? Heh heh.

Anyway, Miss Mae decided (and about time too, if you ask me) that the old book needed a face lift, with some of our most adventuresome characters (illustrated by artist Patrick McCuen) gracing said face. Whoa. Check out Sir O. Yuri Wiseguy-eh, Heathcliff, and The Narrator. Pretty cool, huh? 

The new face lift (no, not mine. This handsome mug doesn't need any improvement, ya know) is now on all eBooks purchased from Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, Apple, and other digital retailers.

But, nope. Not on the print version. I'm still in black and white there. Sigh.

It might be a new cover, but inside the pages it's still the most unbelievable, wild, bizarre, and wackiness of stories you've ever read.

Oh, and did you know we're in Audible too? Heh heh.


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

A Gift for All My Friends

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm here to announce an announcement, and boy, is it good. It's something to do with adventure, with danger, with me, and it's FREE!

Uh...er, wait. What was that about 'danger'?

Oops. This Pukelitzer award winning journalist is intrepid -maybe- but I've never met a danger that I've liked.

So, um, without any more Nosey words 'cause I'm, like, got an appointment with -let me check- yeah, with the President of the Peanut Gallery. I'm gonna split. Like now!




From Miss Mae: What Nosey meant to say is that I'm offering a FREE eBook to my friends and fans. Yes, FREE! This is a mini-read given as a gift for your enjoyment. Wanna know what it is? Well, you're Feeling Nosey, right? So go over to Smashwords and get your copy of "Fated Destiny...Oh, Yeah?" today!







Sunday, October 25, 2015

Nosey Brings You the News -- about Coffee!

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm here to bring you the nosy news you always wanted to know, but wasn't nosy enough to ask. Never fear. I.B. Nosey and his nosy microphone to the rescue, heh heh.

Chef at Gum Drop Island, Wrap Periwinkle, has created a new island drink, a combination of coffee and --what else-- chocolate! You'll love choffee, especially as it's non-fattening and non-real, as in only virtual Heh heh.

But for you coffee lovers, did you know there's some crazy facts about coffee? Yes, your intrepid internet reporter has braved the infested newsy waters to bring you things you never ever thought about.

Don't thank me. I'm just clever that way. Heh heh.



Be sure to check out this link.

And now you know the Nosey about your coffee.

Come join me at the Hi-Octane Caffeine Coffee Shop for more fun stupid stuff, and things you care absolutely nothing about. But, hey, aren't you Feeling Nosey anyway?

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Nosey's Nosy About -- Alice in Wonderland


Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! As always, heh heh, I'm right on the trail of a newsworthy, possibly Pukelitzer Award winning, subject. I've noted that I haven't alerted the world to this fascinating read called, "Alice in Wonderland." It's nowhere as fun and zany as my own charming self zig-zagging along the paths of Gum Drop Island, but I can't be Everywhere, ya know.



The latest memo says this tale is a classic about a little girl and some crazy characters she encounters in a Strange Land. Gee, this sounds more and more like some of the adventures I've been on, heh heh.

 BLURB: In 1862 Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, a shy Oxford mathematician with a stammer, created a story about a little girl tumbling down a rabbit hole. Thus began the immortal adventures of Alice, perhaps the most popular heroine in English literature. Countless scholars have tried to define the charm of theAlice books–with those wonderfully eccentric characters the Queen of Hearts, Tweedledum, and Tweedledee, the Cheshire Cat, Mock Turtle, the Mad Hatter et al.–by proclaiming that they really comprise a satire on language, a political allegory, a parody of Victorian children’s literature, even a reflection of contemporary ecclesiastical history. Perhaps, as Dodgson might have said, Alice is no more than a dream, a fairy tale about the trials and tribulations of growing up–or down, or all turned round–as seen through the expert eyes of a child.

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What's my thoughts regarding this G-rated story? I'll let my rating system give you an idea, heh heh.