Thursday, January 15, 2015

2015 Dreaming of Books Giveaway Hop

This is a Hop!

I'm excited to participate in this blog hop hosted by I am a ReaderNot a Writer. My giveaway is to the US only and is a free print copy of my P&E winner of the YA romantic mystery catagory, "When the Bough Breaks" (first edition). 

To watch the trailer for this book, it can be viewed here.

Mandatory option to enter this giveaway is:

You must become a follower of this blog. (Listed as "fan club" on left hand sidebar) Don't follow privately, but publicly, so that your profile/site shows, and so that the numbers of followers grow. :)

The below isn't mandatory, but optional:

Follow I.B. Nosey on Twitter, here.

The giveaway is through the dates of Jan. 16th to 26th. Be sure to follow the other blogs at this link.

Also, BE SURE to leave your name and email in the comment section so that I'm able to contact you if you're the winner. :)

Thank you for visiting!

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Tara Fairfield Makes a Splash with I.B. Nosey

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! What a day for a sail! Yes, listening fans — today I’m coming to you while I’m trying to stroll the deck of S.S. Seasick and, aack! *clenches ship’s railing with whitened knuckles. Swallows hard* I shouldn’t have had that last slice of Triple Double-Decked Hot Fudge Caramel ala Whipped Cream Doozy Pie.

WOMAN: Will you be quiet? We’ve heard nothing but yak-yak-yak from you for the past two hours.


MAN: Yeah, all we want is smooth sailing.


MAN: How did we wind up with a loud-mouthed nosy reporter, anyway?


WOMAN: We oughta complain to the captain, and get our money back.


MAN: *points out to sea* Jaws ahead!

NOSEY: *shrieks* A sea monster? *looks frantically around* Where? Where? *flails arms as wave crashes overboard* Holy Magtag! I just went through the rinse cycle!

WOMAN: *yells* Now’s our chance! Who’s with me!


CROWD: Let’s toss im! *rushes over to heave Nosey to railing*

NOSEY: Heeey!! *wail fades as he plunges like a 185 pound Nosey anchor into water. Surfaces and spits out seaweed* Holy Loch Ness! What am I on top of? *screams as sea turtle torpedoes straight for horizon* Whoa, little speeding hard-shelled bucking bronco! Ow, ouch, ooh!

TURTLE: *impish turtle eye glints with big turtle impishness* hee hee hee hee

NOSEY: Hey, don’t splash — don’t — I — ugggh! *turtle flips and sends Nosey flying straight for sandy beach. He lands nose-flat first*

WOMAN: Good, Nosey. You’re right on time.

NOSEY: Huh? *sits upright* Where am I? Who are you?

TF: Tara Fairfield. *watches Nosey from where she reclines on chaise lounge* You’re here to interview me about my book, Makai Queen.

NOSEY: *adjusts sand-speckled glasses* Well, I was on a ship, ya know, headed here, but—

TF: *waves dismissive hand* Yes, yes. You took a slight detour. *shrugs* But you’re here, which is all that matters. So shall we start?

NOSEY: *gazes around* This is an island? It’s only about six feet across!

TF: Don’t complain. After all, it comes equipped with one shady coconut tree.

NOSEY: Yeah, and with one beady-eyed monkey in that tree! Ooh, watch it! *ducks as chattering monkey throws down coconut*

TF: Tsk, tsk, Nosey. Straighten your tie and try to make a professional appearance. *winces* Oh, mercy me. Where did you get that hideous blazer? It’ll never do, you know. I only chat with the finest reporters.

NOSEY: Uh huh. Which is why your publicist booked with me, heh heh.

TF: Hm, maybe I should re-negotiate his contract. *brow wrinkles in thought* Tell me your qualifications again?

NOSEY: I’m the only Pukelitzer Award winning journalist in cyberspace.

TF: And that’s it? *throws up hands in exasperation* So be it. Okay. I guess you’ll just have to do. Here. *hands over book* Like I said, we’re discussing Makai Queen.

NOSEY: That’s a funny title.

TF: What’s so funny about it?

NOSEY: I read the blurb on S.S. Seasick and I have to tell ya, Ms. Fairfield, heh heh, that—

TF: Don’t you think it’d be a good idea to read the blurb again for our listening audience?

NOSEY: If my atomic battery powered mike is ready to go, sure. *shakes water from microphone* And if that goony monkey will play nice. Hey! *dodges to one side from falling coconut*

TF: Ignore him, Nosey. Ah, um, er… on second thought, don’t touch my book with your turtle souped hands. *shudders* Give me the mic. I’ll do it.


TF: One side, Nosey. *clears throat and speaks into microphone* Hello fans and friends! May I present the blurb of Makai Queen. Thank you, I certainly shall. Ahem…‘Off the coast of Lanai, far beyond the sailboats, there is a hidden world beneath the beryl-blue sea, the marvelous kingdom of Moku-ola, a place where man and beast live in harmony.  Unknown and forbidden to those living above the surface, it has never been discovered....until now…’ 

NOSEY: Yeah, what I think is funny is that—

TF: Hush, Nosey. I’ve not finished. Continuing, fans… ‘Tessa, a curious teenager with a taste for adventure roams the sandy beaches of Lanai. Feeling lost and hurt she longs for meaning and a place in this world. By chance, Tessa encounters a mysterious man who appears to be drowning. The attempted rescue puts her own life in danger as she is abducted and dragged out to sea…’

NOSEY: What I wanna say is—

TF: Don’t interrupt, Nosey. Good grief, don’t they teach you manners in reporter school?


TF: Let me finish… ‘Far beneath the oceans surface, Tessa is brought to the frightening and wondrous land of Moku-ola. As the dangers of this world threaten her very survival, Tessa must overcome the barriers of self-doubt to discover the keys to her royal destiny.’

NOSEY: Ha! What royal destiny? Sounds like the name of some big hotel, if you ask me.

TF: No, that key is the best key ever. Tessa is the true queen of Moku-ola and it’s a wondrous city beneath the sea. Her bed has a moat around it! Do any hotels boast that?

NOSEY: Big deal. They probably made her queen because she was feeling so lost and hurt.

TF: If you’re implying… *eyes narrow*

NOSEY: All I’m saying is, she felt so bad because it’s obvious that no one ever bought her a box of Gum Drop Island chocolates.

TF: What? *mouth falls open in astonishment*

NOSEY: Yeah, it makes sense. You wanna feel like a queen, take one bite of those delicious babies.

TF: Wait a minute, Nosey. Get the facts straight. Tessa lost her parents in an automobile accident and she spent her teenage years raised by her older sister. Now that she’s finished high school she doesn’t know what to do with her life and she isn’t sure where she fits in.

NOSEY: *rolls eyes* That’s what I’m tellin’ ya! Grab a box of Gum Drop Island candy and let her gorge herself into a chocolate ‘feel-good’ stupid…er, um, I mean, stew— that is—

TF: Stupor? Do you know what that word means?

NOSEY: You're forgetting who you're talking to here, girlie. I'm a professional reporter, heh heh.

TF: I see. *scratches head* Okay, moving right along... maybe, just maybe you’ve convinced me. I’m sure a box of Gum Drop Island chocolates would help. Gotta admit, who wouldn’t feel better by tasting their yummy goodness? Uh, so… can I have one?

NOSEY: Sorry. *wrings water from wrapper* They’re kinda, like, soggy, ya know.

TF: Just my luck. *sighs* Say, what’s that sticking from your pocket?

NOSEY: This? *tugs loose a wet slip of paper* It’s an S.O.S. from Tessa.

TF: S.O.S.? *blinks* Why did she send that?

NOSEY: She wanted me to rescue her from Moku-ola.

TF: *snorts in disbelief* No way!

NOSEY: FYI, big way, lady! *falling coconut bounces on ground. Nosey yells up at monkey* Hey, you midget ape! The wicked witch from Oz is calling you!

TF: Hmph. Well, even if I sorta give you the benefit of the doubt — which I don’t! — but, um, why didn’t you rescue her?

NOSEY: Who? Tessa? I couldn’t.

TF: Ohhh, I get it. *nods* Because you’re not the rescuing hero type, huh?

NOSEY: Get real. I’m plenty the rescuing hero type. Uh — maybe.

TF: Uh huh.

NOSEY: Well, how could I get there? She forgot to send a road map!

TF: She didn’t forget.


TF: Nope. See, Nosey, surface dwellers like yourself aren’t allowed to know how to get to Moku-ola. But… *chuckles* maybe, if you’re really lucky, Tessa’s sea lion, Lizzy, will sneak you in for a peek.

NOSEY: I’ll pass. *makes face* I’ve had enough ‘under the sea’ for one day.

TF: Your loss. *shrugs* Hey, Nosey. *watches monkey atop tree* He doesn’t seem to like you. I wonder why?

NOSEY: He knows I’m a celebrity.

TF: Ah… say what?

NOSEY: Yeah, I make a lot of enemies because of my fame. *puffs out chest* Happens all the time.

TF: *gives mock cough* Oh. Um. Well, speaking of enemies, Tessa has those too.

NOSEY: Yeah? Who?

TF: Hm, let me just give you a friendly warning. Be careful not to go too deep into the ocean because… *shiver* there lurks a prince who controls the sharks.

NOSEY: Yikes!

TF: *nods* Uh huh. He wants to be king of Moku-ola and he uses his sharks to attack Tessa and her friends. He’s also partnered with a mysterious evil bubbling in an underground volcano.

NOSEY: *gulps*

TF: Plus, you don’t want to mess with him, Nosey, ‘cause his best friend is a Tiger shark named Nikko who might like you for lunch.

NOSEY: Lunch? *gives nervous chuckle and tugs at collar* Gee, Ms. Fairfield, wherever d’ya come up with a plot like this? Off a ‘Chicken of the Sea’ tuna can?

TF: Ssh. *puts finger to lips* That’s top secret. You don’t want mermaids coming after you, they’re feisty. Heh heh.

NOSEY: What’s with the ‘heh heh’? You’re stealing my lines!

TF: Seriously, I’m telling you. Who wouldn’t want to be able to breathe underwater, talk to sea life and explore the unknown depths? The ocean is still largely unexplored and maybe the underwater city of Moku-ola is just waiting for you to hop into a submarine and discover it?

NOSEY: I don’t think a Pukelitzer Award winning journalist such as myself—

TF: Well, listen. If you decide to take on that challenge, make sure to bring a box of Gum Drop Island chocolates to tame those pesky sharks.

NOSEY: Sharks aren’t the only pests that need taming around here! Ouch! *shakes fist at chattering monkey* Hey, isn’t this interview nutty enough without you throwing coconuts?

TF: Nosey. Wait. He’s pointing at that dark shape out in the water.

NOSEY: *peers at distant object* Holy life raft! I hope it’s not that mysterious drowning man you mentioned earlier.

TF: I don’t think so. Tessa found him unconscious in the surf…or so she thought.


TF: You know how it is. You just can’t be too careful these days with men who wash up on shore, they aren’t always who they say they are. *grins* But if you ever washed up on a beach, Tessa would totally save you. Heh heh.

NOSEY: *snarls* There you go again!

TF: *gasps* I recognize that shape! It’s Moby Dick and he’s charging straight for us!

NOSEY: *frowns* What’s a Moby?

TF: Interview’s over. *whistles sharply* Sorry, Nosey. My taxi’s here. *dolphin swims up in surf and TF hops on*

NOSEY: Wait, Ms. Fairfield! You didn’t answer my last question. What’s a Moby? *looks up at monkey who sprouts wings on his back…well, dear reader, flying monkeys were referenced earlier, if you recall… and he soars into air, beating a hasty escape*

TF: Bye, Nosey! *hangs on as dolphin speeds stage left*

NOSEY: But — what’s going on? Wha—  Aaaii! *shrieks as cavernous toothy mouth scoops up entire island in one hungry slurp. Nosey shoots sky high through blowhole and leaps to ocean* Wait! Wait for me, Ms. Fairfield!

TF: No can do, Nosey. *calls over shoulder* This is only a one-seater. Besides, it looks like you’re having a whale of a time! 


Available at Amazon



If you enjoyed this interview, schedule your own! Contact Nosey via the Form on the left hand side of this site! (interviews now available in audio and video) 

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Midwinter's Eve Giveaway Blog Hop

This is a Hop!

I'm excited to participate in this blog hop hosted by I am a Reader, Not a Writer and Bookhounds. My giveaway is a free print copy of my romantic mystery, "Catch Me If You Can" (first edition). 

Mandatory option to enter this giveaway is:

You must become a follower of this blog. Don't follow privately, but publicly, so that your profile/site shows, and so that the numbers of followers grow. :)

The below isn't mandatory, but optional:

Follow I.B. Nosey on Twitter, here.

The giveaway is through the dates of Dec. 21st to 31st. Be sure to follow the other blogs at this link.

BE SURE to leave your name and email in the comment section so that I'm able to contact you if you're the winner. :)

Thank you for visiting!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Lynn Lovegreen Chills and Dills with I.B. Nosey

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. And, man, it is c-c-cold here! *teeth chatters* I’m surrounded by miles and miles of f-f-fluffy white stuff! Wait a minute. Florida doesn’t have c-c-cotton ball mounds! *pulls map out of blazer pocket* Holy Weather Vane! This is Alaska???

*Loud snort carries in wind. Nosey shrieks* Who did that?

MOOSE: Halloo, Frosty Snowman.

NOSEY: I’m n-n-not a snowman. Just because I'm carrying around a mike-sicle *shakes frozen microphone* doesn’t mean…er…that is…

MOOSE: *snorts again* Me take you to Lynn Lovegreen.

NOSEY: How do you k-k-know her?

MOOSE: She send me.

NOSEY: What for?

MOOSE: She said look for Big Nose in neon jacket. *nudges Nosey with antlers*

NOSEY: Hey, watch the armpits! *laughs out loud*

MOOSE: *lowers head and huffs on Nosey’s chin* You one strange weird dude.

NOSEY: Listen, my mangy moosehoofs. I'm a professional reporter. I always arrive at my interviews in a style— Yikes! *scrambles to hold on as Moose throws him atop head* Well. Heh heh. Guess you’re an Alaskan taxi, eh?

MOOSE: You heavy. What you eat?

NOSEY: Er… *slaps hand to blazer pocket* It’s not me. It’s this ice heavy microphone.

MOOSE: Uh huh. *trots to igloo and drops Nosey with a splat*

WOMAN: Is that Nosey I hear? *head pops from igloo entrance*

NOSEY: Greetings, Lynn Lovegreen. *pushes to all four and blinks through snow covered glasses* Hey! Where’d ya go?

LL: Get inside, Nosey. Quick! *grabs Nosey’s ankles and drags him through igloo*

NOSEY:  Whoa, gal! I’ve heard of cavewomen kidnapping their men but— *sits up and gazes at surroundings* Holy Looking Glass! This is an ice palace!

LL: *plants hands on hips* Did you really think I lived in a cave?

NOSEY: Er, well, when last we parted company, it was a cave.

LL: Was not.


LL: Not.

NOSEY: Listen, eye-glaring girlie! I know my whereabouts at all times! Except for when I’m lost.

LL: Ha.


LL: It was a gold mine.

NOSEY:  What was?

LL: *shakes finger* Nosey, if you’ve forgotten our little past dramatic adventure, I’m gonna steal all the Gum Drop Island candy you’ve got stashed in your pocket—

NOSEY: ‘ey, now—

LL: And then I’m going to throw you back in the snow and no one will find you until you freeze into a Nosey glacier.

NOSEY: Wait, wait! Er, yeah. Heh heh. I remember now. A gold mine stalked by clam— I mean, claim jumpers.

LL: *purrs* Funny that you should remember all the details, hm?

NOSEY: Uhhh… *swallows hard* So… what are we talking about this time?

LL: A new interview, a new book, a new— Hold on. Your microphone needs a woman’s loving touch. *snatches it from Nosey’s hand*

NOSEY: Hey, what’re ya… ?

LL: Warming this up. It needs to be turned on, right? *clicks* Ah ha! Shall I begin?

NOSEY: I think I—

LL: Why don’t you read while I recite? *slaps book in Nosey’s palm*


LL: Quiet down! *stomps on Nosey’s foot, ignores his howl, and then speaks into microphone* Hello, out there, my admiring public! I’m Lynn Lovegreen, and I’m excited to tell you about my latest book, ‘Golden Days’. Doesn’t that sound exciting? Of course, it does! And I’m excited to read to you about the exciting blurb—

NOSEY: Don’t steal my job! *hops on one foot and lunges for microphone*

LL:  And don’t steal my spotlight moment. *smacks Nosey’s hand away* As I was saying: ‘Alaska is a cold place to live until—

NOSEY: *mutters* Amen to that.

LL: *frowns* Do you mind? Ahem. Again, adoring fans: ‘Alaska is a cold place to live until love blossoms. Elizabeth Robinson travels by dog sled to help her family mind the store in Fairbanks, Alaska. She wants to pursue her drawing and painting, but women artists are rare in 1906, and flood, fire, and a death in the family force her to take charge at home at age seventeen. James Garrett comes north to help his uncle at a nearby gold claim. An awkward eighteen-year-old who is more at home with machines than people, he becomes a man as he falls in love with Elizabeth. When a discovery about her benefactor, the founder of the town, threatens their future, Elizabeth and James find that together they can overcome any obstacle.’

NOSEY: Any obstacle, huh? What about— *leaps into LL’s arms* Yikes! What’s that noise?

LL: Honestly! *drops Nosey with loud thud* You mean that? *gestures to indicate roaring sound* It’s just Grandma in the next room. She’s, um, napping.

NOSEY: *whistles* Works at a lumber mill, huh?

LL:  *sighs* Nosey, get on with your job. Let’s start the interview.

NOSEY: Can’t.

LL: And why not?

NOSEY: ‘Cause I might, like, ya know, need my microphone.

LL: Of course. *hands it over* All you had to do was to ask. *smiles sweetly* What can I tell your listening audience about my book?

NOSEY: Er, well…  *glances around* Something you said gave me the chills.

LL: Really? *purses lips* Maybe it’s just the iced Moose spit frozen to your collar?

NOSEY: *blinks* Huh?

LL: *giggles* What can possibly give you ‘chills’ about my story?

NOSEY: Uh… it’s those claim jumpers you keep writing about  —  Why do they wanna jump on claims anyway? Can’t they, ya know, do something worthwhile, like — jump on grasshoppers?

LL: Pooh, Nosey. Why would they do that? Not much money to be made from grasshoppers. Gold is so much more attractive to them. 

NOSEY: Yeah?

LL: Yeah. And before you ask, remember where I mentioned the benefactor, the owner of the town, and of how he threatens their future?

NOSEY: Uhhh….

LL: Well… *takes Nosey aside in conspirator whisper* It turns out he has a dark past, and hangs out with shady characters, like claim jumpers.

NOSEY: *draws back* Say it ain’t so!

LL: Sorry, ‘cause it is so. *nods* The scandal makes Elizabeth’s father doubt his offer to send her to an art institute. That wrecks Elizabeth’s and James’ plan to reunite in Chicago.

NOSEY: Did you say ‘art’? *snaps fingers* That means she can draw, right?

LL: You think?

NOSEY: Sure, and I bet I know just what it is she draws.

LL: Really? Such as?


LL: You? *stares with disbelief*

NOSEY: Goes without saying. *puffs out chest* She’s eager to draw life-like etchings of your official unofficial reporter, heh heh.

LL: Er, if she met you… *mouth twitches* I’m sure she’d want to sketch your, um… *coughs* remarkable face, Nosey. Uh huh. Yep. But, uh, don’t you think that whole idea might sour with James?

NOSEY: Who’s James?

LL: Excuse me? You don’t remember the name of her hero?

NOSEY: Ohhh. Yeah, that youngster who becomes a man. *smirks* Models himself after me, I take it.

LL: *rolls eyes* Well, let me say — uh, maybe. If you had more elegant manners—


LL: And had a career as an engineer or inventor.

NOSEY: Why would I wanna do that? I’m the official unofficial spokesman for Gum Drop Island confectionary plantation. Not just anyone carries that honor, ya know.

LL: And that reminds me. *steps closer* Nosey, did you invent Gum Drop chocolates?

NOSEY: Uhhh… Is that Grandma? *jumps as roaring sound increases in volume*

LL: Hm. *frowns* She might be about to wake up. Maybe you should run along, Nosey.

NOSEY: Sure. Sure. But just one more quick question, Ms. Lovegreen.

LL: Uh huh. What? *gives wary glance across shoulder*

NOSEY: How do you go about doing your research? Is it fun, or tedious?

LL: I read and look at things online, and I also visit the settings of my books. It’s fun to me. I love digging into history to find great stories and fascinating people. Kind of like what you do with your official unofficial reporting, Nosey, except mine is from the past.

NOSEY: And there’s one more thing—

LL: I really think you should boogie, Nosey.

NOSEY: Now? Well, sure, if you wanna. What tune we doing? *strikes dance pose*

LL: Ohhh. *groans* I’m telling ya. There’s nothing else you need to know. *glances again over shoulder*

NOSEY: Not so fast! I wanted to ask about Elizabeth traveling by ‘dog sled’ to Fairbanks. Where did she come from? Maybe she’d visited Gum Drop Island?

LL: What if she had?

NOSEY: If she went there to draw a sketch of me, she oughta make an appointment first! I’m a sold-out attraction, ya know.

LL: Oh, Nosey. *gestures with impatient hand* She didn’t want to draw you.

NOSEY: *gasps* Clean your glasses, woman! Get a look at this manly face, will ya? *turns head to show profile* Not only am I the hottest dog on the internet, but—

LL: You’re forgetting something, Nosey. I’m afraid that Gum Drop Island was not well-known in 1906.


LL: So she had to settle for Seattle.

NOSEY: Yeah, but—

*Heavy stomps come from next room. Ceiling vibrates*

NOSEY: Whoa! Ms. Lovegreen, your grandma wears army boots? 

*Polar bear pokes head around edge of door. Bear yells* Noise! All I hear is yakety-yak noise!

NOSEY: My, w-what… *edges back toward exit* big ears you have, Grandma.

GRANDMA: *sniffs, and then snarls* The better to hear you with, my Gum Drop Island scented morsel.

NOSEY: *shrieks* My, w-what big teeth you have too! *leaps and flees out into the Alaskan Arctic and really cold wet white stuff*

LL: *calls out* Nosey, Grandma’s nipping at your heels! You better hop on Elizabeth’s dog sled and keep on mushing!  


Available at Amazon



If you enjoyed this interview, schedule your own! Contact Nosey via the Form on the left hand side of this site!

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Sherri Wilson Johnson Parties Hearty with I.B. Nosey!

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! Today I’m coming to you from…um…*glances around* Huh, nothing here but a signpost.  *reads*Ye Olde South’.  Where in Mason Dixon is that?

MAN YELLS: Hallo! Are you our hired clown? You’re late to the party, dude.

NOSEY: *spins around* Whadda ya mean ‘clown’, mister?

MAN: I call ‘em as I see ‘em.

WOMAN APPEARS AT DOORWAY: Clown? *looks at Nosey* Oh, there you are! Come inside.

MAN: *points* Looky at ‘im. Sure is dressed the part. Never in my life have I laid eyes on such a hodge-podge mismatched weirdo. 

NOSEY: *grins* Awe right! My ‘Be Nosey’ blazer… *leans over to whisper in aside* designed by Yours Truly, of course — really stands out, eh? *puffs out chest* Only a hunk can wear it with style.

MAN: *snorts* Or junk?

NOSEY: Well, I— Huh?

SJ: *giggles* This is I.B. Nosey, the Pukelitzer Award winning cyberspace reporter. He’s here to interview me.

MAN: *rolls eyes* What some authors gotta resort to, I guess. *saunters away*

NOSEY: Er… *clears throat* Greetings, girlie. Are you Sherri Wilson Johnson?

SJ: You bet I am. *takes Nosey’s arm* I’m so happy you’ve come to my masquerade party, Nosey.

NOSEY: Uhhh…

SJ: See, I decided to hold the party at a southern plantation house. It sets the perfect theme for my book, ‘To Laugh Once More’, don’t you think?

NOSEY: Uhhh… *jumps back as costumed man jostles by* Holy Snaggle Teeth! Who’s he dressed as?

SJ: A card shark. Cards were an important game in Victorian Georgia.  

NOSEY: Uh huh. *gazes at crowd and whistles* Fancy to-do here.

SJ: Oh yes. Parties were such a hit in 1895. By the way, here’s my book. And… *smacks Nosey with fan* stop staring at Jack Daniels!

NOSEY: Hey! *rubs injured forehead* I’ve got enough smarts there!

SJ: Hush, Nosey, and let’s begin, shall we? I’ll read the blurb. It goes like this: ‘The War may be over, but the battles still rage. A dissatisfied wife. A misunderstood husband. Three tragedies will alter their path forever. Will their choices tear them apart, or will they allow them To Laugh Once More?’

NOSEY: I dunno. I—

SJ: I’m not finished.


SJ: Wait a minute. *stops butler passing by and grabs item from canopy tray* This will fit your mouth nicely.

NOSEY: But— *gulps on morsel*

SJ: As I was saying… ‘Three years after her marriage to Hamilton, former debutante Lydia Barrington Scarbrough is dissatisfied with life. She has yet to have children, and she spends most of her days sitting in a circle of women chatting about homemaking. She thought life would be more than what it’s turned out to be. Hamilton travels on business and never takes her with him. What’s a lonely wife to do when she has no children to raise? She longs for adventure and romance, and really, she longs for the fulfillment of her purpose in life.’ *sighs happily*…Nosey, you have anything to say to that?

NOSEY: Do I! *spits out canopy* Lady, who made that fudge? It tastes like last week’s bad reviews!

SJ: *frowns* But I thought the sale on second-hand goodies at Dollar Hollar—

NOSEY: Say what? *stares in disbelief* Dollar Hollar?

SJ: Oops. I didn’t say that, did I? *nibbles guiltily at bottom lip* Um…why don’t you -uh- ask something about my book? I’m sure you’re full of wisdom about my two main characters, hm? *gives flattering bat of lashes*

NOSEY: Well… *straightens tie* if it’s lovelorn advice you’re after… *smirks* Heh heh, you’ve come to the right guy.

SJ: I knew I could count on you!

NOSEY: Yeah, ‘cause it’s simple, really. All you gotta do is buy the lady a box of Gum Drop Island chocolates. Hey, that hubs is misunderstanding her ‘cause he’s like you and gave her that fake imitation Dollar Hollar brand.

SJ: *nods* You’re so right, Nosey. Now why didn’t I think of that?! That would be the easiest solution ever!

NOSEY: Don’t be so hard on yourself, kid. *pats SJ’s shoulder* After all, I am the Nose who knows.

SJ: Ah. Yes. Well, where were we? *steers Nosey around edge of ballroom* Um, what else can I share about my book?

NOSEY: For starters, there’s something I’m real nosy about.

SJ: Oh, good. What would that be?

NOSEY: Yeah, what’s Hamilton’s problem? Why can’t he take his wife with him on business?

SJ: Oh, because he helps his father to run their orchard. He travels to Georgia to sell their produce.


SJ: So, they also sell china and silver. Hamilton’s on the road a lot which means she’s lonely and misses him.

NOSEY: That’s my point. Why can’t the little wifey tag along? Is there something about Georgia that she doesn’t like? Such as — Holy Twelve Oaks! *drools as couple waltz past* Is that Miss Scarlett O’Hara?

SJ: Eyes this way, Nosey. *snaps fingers close to Nosey’s nose* Ahem. No, it’s that she doesn’t want to move away from Florida. That’s where her family is. She loves Hamilton but she doesn’t want to leave everyone behind. In Georgia, there’s a lot of snobbery and prejudice and discrimination. She hates it.

NOSEY: Oh, yeah. That.

SJ: That what?

NOSEY: What you just said.

SJ: What I— ? *thinks quickly* Um, you mean, discrimination?

NOSEY: Uh huh. I feel her pain. *lowers voice* Happens to me all the time.

SJ: *gasps* No! Share, Nosey!

NOSEY: *glances over shoulder* It’s this reporting biz, ya see. *nods* I’ve got enemies ‘cause of that Pukelitzer Award.

SJ: *slaps hand to cheek* Hush my mouth.

NOSEY: Yeah. Rumors fly sayin’ I only won ‘cause of my debonair charm. *grins* Bet ya didn’t think I knew that word, huh?

SJ: *flips open fan and swiftly cools cheeks* Dear me, Nosey. You’re full of… er, well….

NOSEY: That’s okay. You can say debonair charm. Everyone else does, heh heh.

SJ: *mutters* That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

NOSEY: Huh. Maybe you meant my way of how I do this interviewing stuff? It’s called… *scratches head* It’s called…hm, what’s that term?

SJ: Journalistic skill?

NOSEY: That’s it!

SJ: No. *purses lips* That’s not what I was searching for. *gives fake cough* Anyway, Nosey, I appreciate that you can sympathize with Lydia’s plight.

NOSEY: Plight. That’s me. Uh huh. Uhhh…

SJ: In other words - a hardship.

NOSEY: Yeah, and not much fun for her either.  

SJ: I’d say you’re right.

NOSEY: You gotta tell us. Do things get better?

SJ: Now, now. I don’t want to give away all the hardships she encounters because we want the readers to discover these things as they read the book. Right?

NOSEY: We do? Oh. Right, right! Heh heh. What about you, Ms. Johnson? You a Georgia belle or— *gets bumped by woman dressed as a peach. Nosey calls out:* Watch it! And get a shave! *brushes fuzz off jacket sleeve*

SJ: Dear Nosey, what can I say? I’ve lived in Georgia my entire life. I’ve never lived outside of two counties, but I’ve vacationed in Florida almost all of my life. Have to admit. I love both states.

NOSEY: Well, what’s this deal of writing old stories?

SJ: Old stories?

NOSEY: Yeah. Set back in days before internet, iPhones, U-phone, We-Phones, He-Phones…

SJ: Ah, yes. Those days. Truth be told, I absolutely love being swept away to the days of yesteryear. I love the dresses and the balls. *gestures to encompass room full of dancers* I love when things were simple.

NOSEY: Uh huh.

SJ: And although times were tough, it seems like families had to really pull together in those tough times.

NOSEY: Uh huh.

SJ: *eyes glaze with dreamy expression* I love that fathers got to stay home with the families to farm —most of them— and that children played outdoors and weren’t stuck inside of classrooms and then playing video games—

MAN SHOUTS: You cheated!

*Nosey jumps* Yikes! How did you— Uh, wait. What’s going on?

SJ: They’re playing a game of Stay Alive. *points to group of men sitting at table* And someone just lost all his marbles.

MAN GLARES AT NOSEY: I was winning until he walked up! You’re a jinx!

OTHER MAN: We don’t need no jinxes!

NOSEY: Whoa, fellas. Hold on a minute!

FIRST MAN: Just look at that costume he wore to the party. Anybody who’d wear a crazy blazer like that sicko-one and then add a huge nose to boot? He’s gotta be a jinx!

NOSEY: Aw, now. Gimme a break!

OTHER MAN: We’ll give ya a break! We’ll break your legs! *all rush up, leaping to race after Nosey*

NOSEY: Ms. Johnson! *screams* Whatever happened to southern hospitality? *knocks down tables, vaults over Old Glory, and streaks from room*

SJ: Excuse me, Nosey, you’ve got that all wrong. It’s southern hospital! But just wait. *calls out* One day you’ll look back at this fun-filled adventure and you’ll be able To Laugh Once More!



Available at Amazon



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