Thursday, February 26, 2015

Gloria Repp Chatters Along with I.B. Nosey




NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I’m visiting with FoldySocks and the Three Pairs and— aaiii! *trips and falls face first. Pushes to all fours and shakes head* Hey, there oughta be a road sign!




SQUEAKY VOICE: Whoever heard of road signs in forests?

NOSEY: Huh? *gazes around* Who said that?

CC: Over here to your right. And since I was told to be on the lookout for a long-nosed klutz wearing a psycho blazer, you, Mac, are not here to interview any FoldySocks and Three Pairs.

NOSEY: But—

CC: You’re to interview Gloria Repp, author of Pibbin the Small.

NOSEY: Who says? *stands to feet* Look right here, dude— *pulls paper from pocket*

CC: So you ate lunch at Twinkie Stinks Diner, huh?

NOSEY: Er, how d’ ya know?

CC:  By that striped skunk napkin.

NOSEY: FYI, pal. It’s where I wrote my schedule for today — but, um, well, it’s sorta disappeared beneath the spilled ketchup, heh heh.

CC: Hm mm. Mr. Nosey, who ties your shoelaces?

NOSEY: Well, I— hey, wait a minute. *peers down* You can’t be Gloria Repp.

CC: What gave me away?

NOSEY: Listen, fella. Nobody fools me, the official unofficial Pukelitzer award winning journalist. Er… *scratches head* For some reason, you look like a chipmunk.

CC: You think?

NOSEY: Oh. Um, well. Heh heh. Guess your name’s Alvin, huh? So… Where’s Simon and Theodore?

CC: Being interviewed by a real reporter.

NOSEY: *snarls* Watch ya lip, fuzzball. Don’t cha know who you’re talking to?

CC: *rolls chipmunk eyes* And don’t you know you’re here to ask information about Ms. Repp's book?

NOSEY: Uhhhh….

CC: Like I said, the title is ‘Pibbin the Small’. And I, Cheeco the Chipmunk, have been given permission to answer your questions — which, I fear, is bound to be a real, um, adventure?

NOSEY: Ya hit it right on the nose, squirt! *puffs out chest* Ad Ven Ture with I.B. Nosey, the intrepid internet reporter. The newsiest dude with the nosiest mike. Heh heh. That’s stamped on all my business cards. See? *extends one*

CC: Are we going to spend all day talking about you?

NOSEY: *blinks* Whoa, fella. You sure got some beady glittering eyes in that twitchy-nosed face.

CC: *taps foot on log* Ahem. Ms. Repp's book, Pibbin the Small. Remember?

NOSEY: Think I’d forget? I’m a professional, ya know.

CC: Don’t remind me. *sighs* Dear Mr. Nosey, I suggest you read the blurb. I just happen to have a copy of the book, because you didn’t bother to bring one along, did you?

NOSEY: Seeing as how FoldySocks and the Three Pairs—

CC: Never mind. *slaps book in Nosey’s palm* You can read, can’t you?

NOSEY: Well, I dunno… *scratches chin*…that print is awful small. Kinda like you, Alvin.

CC: Cheeco!

NOSEY: Yeah, I’m hunky and cheeky. I don’t just wear these glasses to look like a movie star, ya know. *waggles brows*

CC: *chipmunk whiskers flare* I’ll read the blurb. *takes book back* Now, let’s see: Pibbin is desperate to help Sheera, his injured friend. It’s a long journey to the doctor’s house, and the other frogs tell him he’s too small to go. ‘You’ll run into snakes and that giant bullfrog,’ they say. ‘Black Snapping Crabs might eat you.’ But Sheera’s leg is still bleeding! Pibbin finds a pal, and they hurry off on the dangerous trip, hoping to return before she gets worse. No one knew to warn them about a crazy toad-driver, or stolen leaves, or a terrible, misted swamp… The two pals end up in more trouble than anyone ever expected.’

NOSEY: *scratches wrist* Uh huh, uh huh. Not a bad little blurb as some little blurbs go, but that last line… *clicks tongue* Nope. Won’t work.

CC: I don’t believe I’m asking this, but… why not?

NOSEY: Trouble’s all around in this place. I told ya there oughta be road signs.

CC: But you—

NOSEY: Sure. Sheera got injured, right?

CC: Um…er…well, yes, she did.

NOSEY: And so did I. Since this Nose for News searches all, sniffs all, knows all, and is all in all, nothing gets past me — unless there’s something’s hiding away, something really sneaky. Something like a — a thief! A thief stealing road signs!

CC: *gnashes chipmunk teeth* Will you forget the road signs?

NOSEY: But I woulda seen a road sign! And so would’ve Sheera. How’d she get injured? Huh? Because no road sign warned her there was a big tree root in the way, I bet ya.

CC: As a matter-of-fact, I’m glad you asked, because I know just about everything that happens in Friendship Bog.



NOSEY: Sure ya do, Alvin.

CC: As I was saying… There’s a big sandy road called Rumble Road, and Sheera was crawling across it, taking her time, like turtles do. Then a big truck came rushing along, and it sideswiped her.

NOSEY: *gasps* No!

CC: Yes! Ma says it’s just lucky the truck didn’t crush Sheera to smithereens. Wow! That would’ve been something to see!

NOSEY: Ugh. *blanches* My lunch at Twinkie Stinks looked something like that.

CC: Well, Mr. Nosey, you can see how a road sign couldn’t have prevented anything.

NOSEY: Ha. You sayin’ a road sign warning of ‘Watch Out for Crazy Fluttering Dragonflies Who Are All Dumb Blonde Drivers’ wouldn’t’ve helped? C’mon!

CC: *stares* What dragonflies?

NOSEY: *snorts* You mean you’re talking about that itty-bitty creature Sheera and you don’t know she’s a dragonfly?

CC: *groans* No, no, Mr. Nosey. Sheera isn’t a dragonfly, although she does like to eat them.

NOSEY: Say what?

CC: That’s right. And sometimes she uses dragonfly wings in her secret mixtures.

NOSEY: But—

CC: She’s what they call an herbalist. That’s a complicated word—

NOSEY: Herb who?

CC: Ahem. Herbalist just means that Sheera uses stuff like leaves and roots to make medicines. She gave us some red-root juice that fixed up my cough just fine.

NOSEY: Holy Halls Mentho-Lyptus, I didn’t even know you’d been sick!

CC: I’m all better now, thanks to Sheera. She might look like a plain old big turtle, but she’s pretty smart. Like me.

NOSEY: If she’s so smart, she better stay away from speeding trucks. I guess it was manned by that toad-driver behind the wheel, eh, or — heh heh, was that some wacko blonde dragonfly?

CC: Excuse me?

NOSEY: You know — a woman driver.

CC: Ah, I see. Well, it’s like this, Mr. Nosey. The toad-driver told me all about his big plan to get rich, but he never said anything about a woman. I’m not surprised. He’d want to keep all the loot for himself.

NOSEY: *scratches elbow* Rich plans? Loot? Wait, are we still discussing this book about a Small named Pibbin?

CC: Of course. It’s the same story. Pibbin, Sheera, giant bullfrogs—

NOSEY: *whistles* Cousin to giant leaping lizards, right?

CC: Ha ha! *grabs chipmunk tummy and bowls over with chipmunk glee* You can’t stump me on that one, Mr. Nosey. I know the answer: Yes! Why? Because they both jump!

NOSEY: Er…*takes cautious step back* Good one, Alvin. Sure, whatever.

CC: And there’s Black Snapping Crabs too, remember.

NOSEY: Yikes! *jumps and looks over shoulder* Where?

CC: In Pibbin’s tale!

NOSEY: *frowns* Why are black crabs snapping at his tail?

CC: Tale, Mr. Nosey, spelled t-a-l-e, like in his story.

NOSEY: Whew. *wipes relieved hand across brow* I thought you meant here in this forest. *gives nervous chuckle*

CC: Oh, you never know. They might turn up.

NOSEY: Uh, really?

CC: They can turn up anywhere.

NOSEY: Can’t.

CC: Can.

NOSEY: Can’t!

CC: Mr. Nosey, if I say they can, then—

NOSEY: They can’t turn up on Gum Drop Island, Alvin, ‘cause no Black Snapping Crabs are allowed. So there.

CC: Who says?

NOSEY: The sign planted on the beach!

CC: *groans* I should’ve known.

NOSEY: Hey, dude. *scratches neck* Why didn’t Pibbin go there and ask for me? I might could’ve given the little guy some help.

CC: Huh? Pibbin had to find a doctor, not a reporter.

NOSEY: Yeah, but—

CC: Unless…*chipmunk face wrinkles in thought* you have a secret cache of Strawberry leaves?

NOSEY: Uhhh….

CC: Doesn’t matter. *waves dismissive hand* I think Gum Drop Island sounds like a fun place. By the way, does it have any candied nuts?

NOSEY: Uhhh….

CC: Is that where you got your tweedy-weedy blazer?

NOSEY: My Be Nosey line of famous blazers? *smirks* Admire ‘em, do you?

CC: Um, let me just say that… *chipmunk nose twitches* I guess Pibbin would look pretty good in a blazer like yours.

NOSEY: You know it! *struts around like gorgeous hunk of male model on The Price is Right tv show — *cough, cough* but then again, maybe not*

CC: Uh huh. ‘Cause his colors are green and lavender too.

NOSEY: Cool! How about one for your friend Sheera? I’m branching into these dynamo blazers for gals too, heh heh.

CC: I dunno about Sheera. There’d be a problem with her shell.

NOSEY: You kidding? All we gotta do is doll her up with a coat of good ol’ Sherwin Williams—

CC: *shakes head* And actually, neither of them especially cares about getting attention.

NOSEY: Yeah, but—

CC: However, me? I’d love to have a cool blazer like yours! *nods* Everyone in Friendship Bog would admire it!

NOSEY: *scratches ankle* Sold, my man! Sold!

CC: Say, Mr. Nosey. *narrows gaze* Why haven't you kept still during our chat? You're scratching like you're allergic to your Be Nosey blazers.

NOSEY: Hush your chipmunk-mouth! Not allergic at all. Just…*looks at hands and gasps* There’re red spots! I must’ve fallen into poison ivy! See, if there’d been a sign to warn me—

CC: You fell into Fools Folly, but there is no poison ivy in this forest.

NOSEY: But—

CC: Wait. Those red spots are moving. Uh oh, Mr. Nosey. Army ants!

NOSEY: What’s that mean? 

CC: *whips out magnifying glass from secret chipmunk pocket* Let’s just see here...

NOSEY: Gimme that! *snatches glass and looks through it. Ant face glares back*

COLONEL: This is Colonel Ant E. Freeze. You, long-nosed reporting man, are interrupting my Company R.A.I.D.’s seek-and-devour maneuver.



NOSEY: But—

COLONEL: Memo alert: We cared absolutely nothing for the remains of your lunch at Twinkie Stinks.

NOSEY: Uh huh. Okay. So…?

COLONEL: Second memo alert: However, my soldiers have reported an antennae-tingling horde contained in Area P2.

NOSEY: Uhhh… what’s Area P2?

COLONEL: Your left-side blazer pocket.

NOSEY: *gulps* Not my Gum Drop Island chocolate!

COLONEL: Affirmative. We shall capture the horde as our booty.

NOSEY: No way! I ain’t sharing!

COLONEL: Surrender. Resistance is futile.

NOSEY: Nothing doin'! *kicks at advancing army battalion* Scram, you little pesties. Think this intrepid internet reporter is afraid of some little bugs like you?

*A blanket— no, a mountain, two mountains, three mountains, more— of ants cover Nosey from head to toe. Nosey leaps into jitterbug-like jig* Ooh, ouch, ow! They tickle, they itch, they— *yelps* They bite!

CC: Eek! *scampers off log and scurries down chipmunk trail*

NOSEY: Wait! *runs after CC* Grab a water hose! ALVINNNN, help!

CC: Sorry, Mr. Nosey. *speeds ahead in lickety-split chipmunk marathon pace* If there’s one thing that I, Cheeco the Chipmunk always does, it's to follow the advice of road signs!



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Available at Amazon

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Visit Gloria's Website

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If you enjoyed this interview, schedule your own! Contact Nosey via the Form on the left hand side of this site!



Tuesday, February 3, 2015

2015 Romance is in the Air Giveaway Blog Hop

This is a Hop!




I'm excited to participate in this blog hop hosted by I am a ReaderNot a Writer. My giveaway is to the US and Canada and is a free print copy of my award winning romantic mystery, "Said the Spider to the Fly" (first edition). 

To watch the trailer for this book, it can be viewed here.



Mandatory option to enter this giveaway is:

You must become a follower of this blog. (Listed as "fan club" on left hand sidebar) Don't follow privately, but publicly, so that your profile/site shows, and so that the numbers of followers grow. :)

The below isn't mandatory, but optional:

Follow I.B. Nosey on Twitter, here.

The giveaway is through the dates of Feb. 4th to 14th. Be sure to follow the other blogs at this link.

Also, BE SURE to leave your name and email in the comment section so that I'm able to contact you if you're the winner. :)

Thank you for visiting!

Thursday, January 15, 2015

2015 Dreaming of Books Giveaway Hop

This is a Hop!




I'm excited to participate in this blog hop hosted by I am a ReaderNot a Writer. My giveaway is to the US only and is a free print copy of my P&E winner of the YA romantic mystery catagory, "When the Bough Breaks" (first edition). 

To watch the trailer for this book, it can be viewed here.



Mandatory option to enter this giveaway is:

You must become a follower of this blog. (Listed as "fan club" on left hand sidebar) Don't follow privately, but publicly, so that your profile/site shows, and so that the numbers of followers grow. :)

The below isn't mandatory, but optional:

Follow I.B. Nosey on Twitter, here.

The giveaway is through the dates of Jan. 16th to 26th. Be sure to follow the other blogs at this link.

Also, BE SURE to leave your name and email in the comment section so that I'm able to contact you if you're the winner. :)

Thank you for visiting!

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Tara Fairfield Makes a Splash with I.B. Nosey




NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! What a day for a sail! Yes, listening fans — today I’m coming to you while I’m trying to stroll the deck of S.S. Seasick and, aack! *clenches ship’s railing with whitened knuckles. Swallows hard* I shouldn’t have had that last slice of Triple Double-Decked Hot Fudge Caramel ala Whipped Cream Doozy Pie.



WOMAN: Will you be quiet? We’ve heard nothing but yak-yak-yak from you for the past two hours.

NOSEY: But—

MAN: Yeah, all we want is smooth sailing.

NOSEY: But—

MAN: How did we wind up with a loud-mouthed nosy reporter, anyway?

NOSEY: But—

WOMAN: We oughta complain to the captain, and get our money back.

NOSEY: But—

MAN: *points out to sea* Jaws ahead!

NOSEY: *shrieks* A sea monster? *looks frantically around* Where? Where? *flails arms as wave crashes overboard* Holy Magtag! I just went through the rinse cycle!

WOMAN: *yells* Now’s our chance! Who’s with me!

NOSEY: But—

CROWD: Let’s toss im! *rushes over to heave Nosey to railing*

NOSEY: Heeey!! *wail fades as he plunges like a 185 pound Nosey anchor into water. Surfaces and spits out seaweed* Holy Loch Ness! What am I on top of? *screams as sea turtle torpedoes straight for horizon* Whoa, little speeding hard-shelled bucking bronco! Ow, ouch, ooh!

TURTLE: *impish turtle eye glints with big turtle impishness* hee hee hee hee

NOSEY: Hey, don’t splash — don’t — I — ugggh! *turtle flips and sends Nosey flying straight for sandy beach. He lands nose-flat first*

WOMAN: Good, Nosey. You’re right on time.

NOSEY: Huh? *sits upright* Where am I? Who are you?

TF: Tara Fairfield. *watches Nosey from where she reclines on chaise lounge* You’re here to interview me about my book, Makai Queen.

NOSEY: *adjusts sand-speckled glasses* Well, I was on a ship, ya know, headed here, but—

TF: *waves dismissive hand* Yes, yes. You took a slight detour. *shrugs* But you’re here, which is all that matters. So shall we start?

NOSEY: *gazes around* This is an island? It’s only about six feet across!

TF: Don’t complain. After all, it comes equipped with one shady coconut tree.

NOSEY: Yeah, and with one beady-eyed monkey in that tree! Ooh, watch it! *ducks as chattering monkey throws down coconut*



TF: Tsk, tsk, Nosey. Straighten your tie and try to make a professional appearance. *winces* Oh, mercy me. Where did you get that hideous blazer? It’ll never do, you know. I only chat with the finest reporters.

NOSEY: Uh huh. Which is why your publicist booked with me, heh heh.

TF: Hm, maybe I should re-negotiate his contract. *brow wrinkles in thought* Tell me your qualifications again?

NOSEY: I’m the only Pukelitzer Award winning journalist in cyberspace.

TF: And that’s it? *throws up hands in exasperation* So be it. Okay. I guess you’ll just have to do. Here. *hands over book* Like I said, we’re discussing Makai Queen.

NOSEY: That’s a funny title.

TF: What’s so funny about it?

NOSEY: I read the blurb on S.S. Seasick and I have to tell ya, Ms. Fairfield, heh heh, that—

TF: Don’t you think it’d be a good idea to read the blurb again for our listening audience?

NOSEY: If my atomic battery powered mike is ready to go, sure. *shakes water from microphone* And if that goony monkey will play nice. Hey! *dodges to one side from falling coconut*

TF: Ignore him, Nosey. Ah, um, er… on second thought, don’t touch my book with your turtle souped hands. *shudders* Give me the mic. I’ll do it.

NOSEY: But—

TF: One side, Nosey. *clears throat and speaks into microphone* Hello fans and friends! May I present the blurb of Makai Queen. Thank you, I certainly shall. Ahem…‘Off the coast of Lanai, far beyond the sailboats, there is a hidden world beneath the beryl-blue sea, the marvelous kingdom of Moku-ola, a place where man and beast live in harmony.  Unknown and forbidden to those living above the surface, it has never been discovered....until now…’ 

NOSEY: Yeah, what I think is funny is that—

TF: Hush, Nosey. I’ve not finished. Continuing, fans… ‘Tessa, a curious teenager with a taste for adventure roams the sandy beaches of Lanai. Feeling lost and hurt she longs for meaning and a place in this world. By chance, Tessa encounters a mysterious man who appears to be drowning. The attempted rescue puts her own life in danger as she is abducted and dragged out to sea…’

NOSEY: What I wanna say is—

TF: Don’t interrupt, Nosey. Good grief, don’t they teach you manners in reporter school?

NOSEY: But—

TF: Let me finish… ‘Far beneath the oceans surface, Tessa is brought to the frightening and wondrous land of Moku-ola. As the dangers of this world threaten her very survival, Tessa must overcome the barriers of self-doubt to discover the keys to her royal destiny.’

NOSEY: Ha! What royal destiny? Sounds like the name of some big hotel, if you ask me.

TF: No, that key is the best key ever. Tessa is the true queen of Moku-ola and it’s a wondrous city beneath the sea. Her bed has a moat around it! Do any hotels boast that?

NOSEY: Big deal. They probably made her queen because she was feeling so lost and hurt.

TF: If you’re implying… *eyes narrow*

NOSEY: All I’m saying is, she felt so bad because it’s obvious that no one ever bought her a box of Gum Drop Island chocolates.

TF: What? *mouth falls open in astonishment*

NOSEY: Yeah, it makes sense. You wanna feel like a queen, take one bite of those delicious babies.

TF: Wait a minute, Nosey. Get the facts straight. Tessa lost her parents in an automobile accident and she spent her teenage years raised by her older sister. Now that she’s finished high school she doesn’t know what to do with her life and she isn’t sure where she fits in.

NOSEY: *rolls eyes* That’s what I’m tellin’ ya! Grab a box of Gum Drop Island candy and let her gorge herself into a chocolate ‘feel-good’ stupid…er, um, I mean, stew— that is—

TF: Stupor? Do you know what that word means?

NOSEY: You're forgetting who you're talking to here, girlie. I'm a professional reporter, heh heh.

TF: I see. *scratches head* Okay, moving right along... maybe, just maybe you’ve convinced me. I’m sure a box of Gum Drop Island chocolates would help. Gotta admit, who wouldn’t feel better by tasting their yummy goodness? Uh, so… can I have one?

NOSEY: Sorry. *wrings water from wrapper* They’re kinda, like, soggy, ya know.

TF: Just my luck. *sighs* Say, what’s that sticking from your pocket?

NOSEY: This? *tugs loose a wet slip of paper* It’s an S.O.S. from Tessa.

TF: S.O.S.? *blinks* Why did she send that?

NOSEY: She wanted me to rescue her from Moku-ola.

TF: *snorts in disbelief* No way!

NOSEY: FYI, big way, lady! *falling coconut bounces on ground. Nosey yells up at monkey* Hey, you midget ape! The wicked witch from Oz is calling you!

TF: Hmph. Well, even if I sorta give you the benefit of the doubt — which I don’t! — but, um, why didn’t you rescue her?

NOSEY: Who? Tessa? I couldn’t.

TF: Ohhh, I get it. *nods* Because you’re not the rescuing hero type, huh?

NOSEY: Get real. I’m plenty the rescuing hero type. Uh — maybe.

TF: Uh huh.

NOSEY: Well, how could I get there? She forgot to send a road map!

TF: She didn’t forget.

NOSEY: Huh?

TF: Nope. See, Nosey, surface dwellers like yourself aren’t allowed to know how to get to Moku-ola. But… *chuckles* maybe, if you’re really lucky, Tessa’s sea lion, Lizzy, will sneak you in for a peek.

NOSEY: I’ll pass. *makes face* I’ve had enough ‘under the sea’ for one day.

TF: Your loss. *shrugs* Hey, Nosey. *watches monkey atop tree* He doesn’t seem to like you. I wonder why?

NOSEY: He knows I’m a celebrity.

TF: Ah… say what?

NOSEY: Yeah, I make a lot of enemies because of my fame. *puffs out chest* Happens all the time.

TF: *gives mock cough* Oh. Um. Well, speaking of enemies, Tessa has those too.

NOSEY: Yeah? Who?

TF: Hm, let me just give you a friendly warning. Be careful not to go too deep into the ocean because… *shiver* there lurks a prince who controls the sharks.

NOSEY: Yikes!

TF: *nods* Uh huh. He wants to be king of Moku-ola and he uses his sharks to attack Tessa and her friends. He’s also partnered with a mysterious evil bubbling in an underground volcano.

NOSEY: *gulps*

TF: Plus, you don’t want to mess with him, Nosey, ‘cause his best friend is a Tiger shark named Nikko who might like you for lunch.

NOSEY: Lunch? *gives nervous chuckle and tugs at collar* Gee, Ms. Fairfield, wherever d’ya come up with a plot like this? Off a ‘Chicken of the Sea’ tuna can?

TF: Ssh. *puts finger to lips* That’s top secret. You don’t want mermaids coming after you, they’re feisty. Heh heh.

NOSEY: What’s with the ‘heh heh’? You’re stealing my lines!

TF: Seriously, I’m telling you. Who wouldn’t want to be able to breathe underwater, talk to sea life and explore the unknown depths? The ocean is still largely unexplored and maybe the underwater city of Moku-ola is just waiting for you to hop into a submarine and discover it?

NOSEY: I don’t think a Pukelitzer Award winning journalist such as myself—



TF: Well, listen. If you decide to take on that challenge, make sure to bring a box of Gum Drop Island chocolates to tame those pesky sharks.

NOSEY: Sharks aren’t the only pests that need taming around here! Ouch! *shakes fist at chattering monkey* Hey, isn’t this interview nutty enough without you throwing coconuts?

TF: Nosey. Wait. He’s pointing at that dark shape out in the water.

NOSEY: *peers at distant object* Holy life raft! I hope it’s not that mysterious drowning man you mentioned earlier.

TF: I don’t think so. Tessa found him unconscious in the surf…or so she thought.

NOSEY: Huh?

TF: You know how it is. You just can’t be too careful these days with men who wash up on shore, they aren’t always who they say they are. *grins* But if you ever washed up on a beach, Tessa would totally save you. Heh heh.

NOSEY: *snarls* There you go again!

TF: *gasps* I recognize that shape! It’s Moby Dick and he’s charging straight for us!

NOSEY: *frowns* What’s a Moby?

TF: Interview’s over. *whistles sharply* Sorry, Nosey. My taxi’s here. *dolphin swims up in surf and TF hops on*

NOSEY: Wait, Ms. Fairfield! You didn’t answer my last question. What’s a Moby? *looks up at monkey who sprouts wings on his back…well, dear reader, flying monkeys were referenced earlier, if you recall… and he soars into air, beating a hasty escape*

TF: Bye, Nosey! *hangs on as dolphin speeds stage left*

NOSEY: But — what’s going on? Wha—  Aaaii! *shrieks as cavernous toothy mouth scoops up entire island in one hungry slurp. Nosey shoots sky high through blowhole and leaps to ocean* Wait! Wait for me, Ms. Fairfield!

TF: No can do, Nosey. *calls over shoulder* This is only a one-seater. Besides, it looks like you’re having a whale of a time! 


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Available at Amazon

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If you enjoyed this interview, schedule your own! Contact Nosey via the Form on the left hand side of this site! (interviews now available in audio and video) 

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Midwinter's Eve Giveaway Blog Hop

This is a Hop!



I'm excited to participate in this blog hop hosted by I am a Reader, Not a Writer and Bookhounds. My giveaway is a free print copy of my romantic mystery, "Catch Me If You Can" (first edition). 



Mandatory option to enter this giveaway is:

You must become a follower of this blog. Don't follow privately, but publicly, so that your profile/site shows, and so that the numbers of followers grow. :)

The below isn't mandatory, but optional:

Follow I.B. Nosey on Twitter, here.

The giveaway is through the dates of Dec. 21st to 31st. Be sure to follow the other blogs at this link.

BE SURE to leave your name and email in the comment section so that I'm able to contact you if you're the winner. :)

Thank you for visiting!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Lynn Lovegreen Chills and Dills with I.B. Nosey




NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. And, man, it is c-c-cold here! *teeth chatters* I’m surrounded by miles and miles of f-f-fluffy white stuff! Wait a minute. Florida doesn’t have c-c-cotton ball mounds! *pulls map out of blazer pocket* Holy Weather Vane! This is Alaska???

*Loud snort carries in wind. Nosey shrieks* Who did that?

MOOSE: Halloo, Frosty Snowman.



NOSEY: I’m n-n-not a snowman. Just because I'm carrying around a mike-sicle *shakes frozen microphone* doesn’t mean…er…that is…

MOOSE: *snorts again* Me take you to Lynn Lovegreen.

NOSEY: How do you k-k-know her?

MOOSE: She send me.

NOSEY: What for?

MOOSE: She said look for Big Nose in neon jacket. *nudges Nosey with antlers*

NOSEY: Hey, watch the armpits! *laughs out loud*

MOOSE: *lowers head and huffs on Nosey’s chin* You one strange weird dude.

NOSEY: Listen, my mangy moosehoofs. I'm a professional reporter. I always arrive at my interviews in a style— Yikes! *scrambles to hold on as Moose throws him atop head* Well. Heh heh. Guess you’re an Alaskan taxi, eh?

MOOSE: You heavy. What you eat?

NOSEY: Er… *slaps hand to blazer pocket* It’s not me. It’s this ice heavy microphone.

MOOSE: Uh huh. *trots to igloo and drops Nosey with a splat*

WOMAN: Is that Nosey I hear? *head pops from igloo entrance*

NOSEY: Greetings, Lynn Lovegreen. *pushes to all four and blinks through snow covered glasses* Hey! Where’d ya go?

LL: Get inside, Nosey. Quick! *grabs Nosey’s ankles and drags him through igloo*

NOSEY:  Whoa, gal! I’ve heard of cavewomen kidnapping their men but— *sits up and gazes at surroundings* Holy Looking Glass! This is an ice palace!

LL: *plants hands on hips* Did you really think I lived in a cave?

NOSEY: Er, well, when last we parted company, it was a cave.

LL: Was not.

NOSEY: Was.

LL: Not.

NOSEY: Listen, eye-glaring girlie! I know my whereabouts at all times! Except for when I’m lost.

LL: Ha.

NOSEY: Huh?

LL: It was a gold mine.

NOSEY:  What was?

LL: *shakes finger* Nosey, if you’ve forgotten our little past dramatic adventure, I’m gonna steal all the Gum Drop Island candy you’ve got stashed in your pocket—

NOSEY: ‘ey, now—

LL: And then I’m going to throw you back in the snow and no one will find you until you freeze into a Nosey glacier.

NOSEY: Wait, wait! Er, yeah. Heh heh. I remember now. A gold mine stalked by clam— I mean, claim jumpers.

LL: *purrs* Funny that you should remember all the details, hm?

NOSEY: Uhhh… *swallows hard* So… what are we talking about this time?

LL: A new interview, a new book, a new— Hold on. Your microphone needs a woman’s loving touch. *snatches it from Nosey’s hand*

NOSEY: Hey, what’re ya… ?

LL: Warming this up. It needs to be turned on, right? *clicks* Ah ha! Shall I begin?

NOSEY: I think I—

LL: Why don’t you read while I recite? *slaps book in Nosey’s palm*

NOSEY: But—

LL: Quiet down! *stomps on Nosey’s foot, ignores his howl, and then speaks into microphone* Hello, out there, my admiring public! I’m Lynn Lovegreen, and I’m excited to tell you about my latest book, ‘Golden Days’. Doesn’t that sound exciting? Of course, it does! And I’m excited to read to you about the exciting blurb—

NOSEY: Don’t steal my job! *hops on one foot and lunges for microphone*

LL:  And don’t steal my spotlight moment. *smacks Nosey’s hand away* As I was saying: ‘Alaska is a cold place to live until—

NOSEY: *mutters* Amen to that.

LL: *frowns* Do you mind? Ahem. Again, adoring fans: ‘Alaska is a cold place to live until love blossoms. Elizabeth Robinson travels by dog sled to help her family mind the store in Fairbanks, Alaska. She wants to pursue her drawing and painting, but women artists are rare in 1906, and flood, fire, and a death in the family force her to take charge at home at age seventeen. James Garrett comes north to help his uncle at a nearby gold claim. An awkward eighteen-year-old who is more at home with machines than people, he becomes a man as he falls in love with Elizabeth. When a discovery about her benefactor, the founder of the town, threatens their future, Elizabeth and James find that together they can overcome any obstacle.’

NOSEY: Any obstacle, huh? What about— *leaps into LL’s arms* Yikes! What’s that noise?

LL: Honestly! *drops Nosey with loud thud* You mean that? *gestures to indicate roaring sound* It’s just Grandma in the next room. She’s, um, napping.

NOSEY: *whistles* Works at a lumber mill, huh?

LL:  *sighs* Nosey, get on with your job. Let’s start the interview.

NOSEY: Can’t.

LL: And why not?

NOSEY: ‘Cause I might, like, ya know, need my microphone.

LL: Of course. *hands it over* All you had to do was to ask. *smiles sweetly* What can I tell your listening audience about my book?

NOSEY: Er, well…  *glances around* Something you said gave me the chills.

LL: Really? *purses lips* Maybe it’s just the iced Moose spit frozen to your collar?

NOSEY: *blinks* Huh?

LL: *giggles* What can possibly give you ‘chills’ about my story?

NOSEY: Uh… it’s those claim jumpers you keep writing about  —  Why do they wanna jump on claims anyway? Can’t they, ya know, do something worthwhile, like — jump on grasshoppers?

LL: Pooh, Nosey. Why would they do that? Not much money to be made from grasshoppers. Gold is so much more attractive to them. 

NOSEY: Yeah?

LL: Yeah. And before you ask, remember where I mentioned the benefactor, the owner of the town, and of how he threatens their future?

NOSEY: Uhhh….

LL: Well… *takes Nosey aside in conspirator whisper* It turns out he has a dark past, and hangs out with shady characters, like claim jumpers.

NOSEY: *draws back* Say it ain’t so!

LL: Sorry, ‘cause it is so. *nods* The scandal makes Elizabeth’s father doubt his offer to send her to an art institute. That wrecks Elizabeth’s and James’ plan to reunite in Chicago.

NOSEY: Did you say ‘art’? *snaps fingers* That means she can draw, right?

LL: You think?

NOSEY: Sure, and I bet I know just what it is she draws.

LL: Really? Such as?

NOSEY: Me!

LL: You? *stares with disbelief*

NOSEY: Goes without saying. *puffs out chest* She’s eager to draw life-like etchings of your official unofficial reporter, heh heh.

LL: Er, if she met you… *mouth twitches* I’m sure she’d want to sketch your, um… *coughs* remarkable face, Nosey. Uh huh. Yep. But, uh, don’t you think that whole idea might sour with James?

NOSEY: Who’s James?

LL: Excuse me? You don’t remember the name of her hero?

NOSEY: Ohhh. Yeah, that youngster who becomes a man. *smirks* Models himself after me, I take it.

LL: *rolls eyes* Well, let me say — uh, maybe. If you had more elegant manners—

NOSEY: But—

LL: And had a career as an engineer or inventor.

NOSEY: Why would I wanna do that? I’m the official unofficial spokesman for Gum Drop Island confectionary plantation. Not just anyone carries that honor, ya know.

LL: And that reminds me. *steps closer* Nosey, did you invent Gum Drop chocolates?

NOSEY: Uhhh… Is that Grandma? *jumps as roaring sound increases in volume*

LL: Hm. *frowns* She might be about to wake up. Maybe you should run along, Nosey.

NOSEY: Sure. Sure. But just one more quick question, Ms. Lovegreen.

LL: Uh huh. What? *gives wary glance across shoulder*

NOSEY: How do you go about doing your research? Is it fun, or tedious?

LL: I read and look at things online, and I also visit the settings of my books. It’s fun to me. I love digging into history to find great stories and fascinating people. Kind of like what you do with your official unofficial reporting, Nosey, except mine is from the past.

NOSEY: And there’s one more thing—

LL: I really think you should boogie, Nosey.

NOSEY: Now? Well, sure, if you wanna. What tune we doing? *strikes dance pose*

LL: Ohhh. *groans* I’m telling ya. There’s nothing else you need to know. *glances again over shoulder*

NOSEY: Not so fast! I wanted to ask about Elizabeth traveling by ‘dog sled’ to Fairbanks. Where did she come from? Maybe she’d visited Gum Drop Island?

LL: What if she had?

NOSEY: If she went there to draw a sketch of me, she oughta make an appointment first! I’m a sold-out attraction, ya know.

LL: Oh, Nosey. *gestures with impatient hand* She didn’t want to draw you.

NOSEY: *gasps* Clean your glasses, woman! Get a look at this manly face, will ya? *turns head to show profile* Not only am I the hottest dog on the internet, but—

LL: You’re forgetting something, Nosey. I’m afraid that Gum Drop Island was not well-known in 1906.

NOSEY: But—

LL: So she had to settle for Seattle.

NOSEY: Yeah, but—

*Heavy stomps come from next room. Ceiling vibrates*

NOSEY: Whoa! Ms. Lovegreen, your grandma wears army boots? 

*Polar bear pokes head around edge of door. Bear yells* Noise! All I hear is yakety-yak noise!



NOSEY: My, w-what… *edges back toward exit* big ears you have, Grandma.

GRANDMA: *sniffs, and then snarls* The better to hear you with, my Gum Drop Island scented morsel.

NOSEY: *shrieks* My, w-what big teeth you have too! *leaps and flees out into the Alaskan Arctic and really cold wet white stuff*

LL: *calls out* Nosey, Grandma’s nipping at your heels! You better hop on Elizabeth’s dog sled and keep on mushing!  

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Available at Amazon

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