NOSEY BIO: Loud, brass, and tastelessly attired, I.B. Nosey is famed for his exuberant “Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter!” He seeks answers to the kind of probing questions no accredited journalist would deem intelligent, let alone newsworthy enough, to ask. Fleet of foot, wide of mouth, and fluent of tongue-in-cheek, I.B. Nosey’s unique interviewing style is comparable to none.

Winner of the Pukelitzer Award. Spokesman for Gum Drop Island’s confectionary plantation. Featured in InD’Tale magazine and The Woven Tale Press.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Pat McCuen Draws a Fine Line with I.B. Nosey

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! I’m officially unofficially on my way to an interview with… yuck! *sounds of struggle* Hey, what’s this goop on the sidewalk? I - can’t - *strains* get -loose…

VOICE: Nosey, that’s an official unofficial ink puddle. My ink puddle, as a matter-of-fact.

NOSEY: Huh? Who are you? Wait… you look kinda familiar with that bearded jaw and— what’s that crazy gizmo you’re clutching so tight there, pal?

PM: Name’s Patrick McCuen. And this is my pencil. It never leaves my side.

NOSEY: A pencil? Who uses pencils these days, fella? Everything’s gone wild and ‘net techy, just in case you’re not rolling with the latest news.

PM: But you are?

NOSEY: I are what?

PM: Yeah, I’ve often wondered what you are too.

NOSEY: Sure, I’m— huh?

PM: *chuckles* I’m techy, Nosey. But I happen to need pencils.

NOSEY: For what? Adding two and two? Let me help ya out there, dude. Two and two comes to the grand ol’ sum of…uh…er…um…

PM:  Uh huh. Like I said, I need pencils, Nosey, for drawing things. Like my comic strip, “The Devil & Gandhi”, mushrooms, greeting cards. And you.

NOSEY: Whoaaa! *blinks* Me? Did you say me?

PM: Yep. As a matter-of-fact, you’re right now in the middle of my newest ink puddle sketch.

NOSEY: *frowns in thought* Ya know, there's something about you... Yeah! *snaps fingers* Your beard, that’s what it is. Did ya know that curly strand number 1,356 does NOT match strand 1,357?

PM: *whistles in wonder* You can count?

NOSEY: You bet your inky pinkie fingers that I— heyyy!

PM: But there’s a problem, Nosey.

NOSEY: There sure is. You’re smearing smudges all over my atomic Nosey microphone!

PM: Not that. It’s your dark sunglasses. Maybe I need to lighten ‘em up a bit…

NOSEY: *sounds of hand slapping* Don’t touch me, fella. Haven’t you already done enough?

PM: Like what?

NOSEY: Hellooo! Like the smudges, Mr. Artiste. Yeah, and besides that, you’re the one who gave me this long, pointed nose.

PM: But, Nosey. It fits you.

NOSEY: Yeah, well, this blazer doesn’t fit. Does NOT fit.

PM: What’s wrong with it? I thought you were hip-hop cool about your...shall we say, unique... coloring.

NOSEY: Nothing wrong with the tweedy-weedy style, man. The problem is that you left off my muscles!

PM: *coughs* Um. Did you say muscles?

NOSEY: Yeah, give me huge Rambo muscles. After all, if you’re gonna sketch a macho guy like me, ya need to get it right, heh heh.

PM: Ah. I do see one muscle that needs a touch-up.

NOSEY: Which one?

PM: Your mouth.

NOSEY: *gasps* No dice, fella! *pulls leg out of sticky-wicky ink puddle* I’m outta here!

PM: Nosey! *races behind the fleeing Nosey* Get back to my drawing board!

GANDHI: *awakes from meditation and watches the bizarre scene*…Friends, remember this wise Gandhi proverb: ‘Where there is no Nosey, there is peace and sanity.’

NOSEY: Hey, you. Mind your own business! *streaks past Gandhi* Don’t be giving this mad cartoonist any bright ideas!

PM: Too late, Nosey! *waves pencil in air* I have an eraser and I know how to use it!

NOSEY: Aaaiiiiii!


Visit Pat at his site, The InkPuddle


If you enjoyed this interview, schedule your own family-friendly work/site. Contact Nosey via the Form on left-hand side of this blog!