VOICE FROM ASIDE, SHOUTING: Nosey! You are not in a forest today! You're in a park! Remember? A park!!!
NOSEY: Hmm? Oh, er... *clears throat* Oh, uh, yeah, Miss Mae. A park. Yeah, that's right, let's see here... *strolls along trail, and then halts. Scratches head in puzzlement*
BUG: C'mon, fella. The title says "old staffers". I no need staffers, I got pinchers. See? *strikes at Nosey's leg*
NOSEY: *screams and leaps away* Ok, ok! Scram, you little pest. *kicks at insect*
MALE VOICE CALLS OUT: Nosey, get over here. We're waiting on ya.
NOSEY: Yeah? *whirls around*
NOSEY: Hey, who're you? If you're the Old Staffers guys, you don't look anything like this pic Miss Mae gave me. *flips photo*
GUY ON LEFT: C'mon, Nosey. Can't believe your eyes? Of course it's us.
NOSEY: *frowns* Yeah, and which guy are you?
GUY ON LEFT: Troy. And--
NOSEY: You're Troy? But you're supposed to have a beard, dude. A long beard.
GUY IN CENTER RISES TO FEET: We've heard about you. *shakes head* You're just like your reputation.
NOSEY: *chuckles* Oh, you know about me, eh? And your name is--?
GUY: I'm Sam, and this guy over here is Jack. *points to guy on right*
NOSEY: Well, ok, fellas, if you say so. And I'm supposed to interview you about--
SAM: Yeah, Nosey! You sure are, boy. Ok, so let's see -- you heard about Troy's thousand acres, huh? And how it's used? With a still he has going on up there?
NOSEY: A still? *eyes widen* You don't mean like a--
JACK: Yep, we mean it. *comes to stand in front of Nosey.* But the thing is, we can't stay here all day talking to you, cause... *turns to address Troy and Sam* Guys, we've gotta keep brewing Troy McCoy Zipper Zapper TeaTime bottles.
NOSEY: Uhhh, wait a minute, fella. See that photo right there that Miss Mae put in? It is definitely not a bottle.
TROY: Of course it's not, Nosey. Don't you know we pour it from a bottle into a cup? *winks at comrades*
JACK: *grins* Yeah, but like I was tellin' ya, Troy, folks on the cruise ship are getting impatient. When you gonna make another delivery?
SAM: He's absolutely right. *slaps Troy on the back* We be needing some more now.
TROY: It's not easy with that old recipe. *frowns and strokes beard in thought*
NOSEY: Why? *sticks microphone into Troy's beard* What was wrong with the recipe?
TROY: *raises brows* Oh, so now you're nosy about it, huh? *pushes microphone aside* Well, truth is that too much chocolate syrup and whipped cream plugged up the lines.
JACK: *shrugs* Well, no big deal, right? Just clean 'em out. Can't keep the cruise people waiting. Wouldn't be smart. At all. 'Cause I'm telling ya, on the ship, those people were getting downright antsy about running out of their favorite 'tea', as they called it.
NOSEY: Hey, wait. There's something-- OWW! *yelps* Who bit me? Who bit me? *swings around, scanning surroundings*
NOSEY: *slaps forehead* Sheesh! You old staffers really put up with all these *waves hand* animals here in Pretty Park?
SAM: *laughs* This is Petty Park, Nosey. Don't ya know where you are?
NOSEY: Petty, huh? Yeah, I can believe that 'cause so far with all these rascals-- *kicks dirt at ant*-- racing around, not much pretty going on, that's for sure.
TROY: Whoa, guy. Just ignore the little ant, huh, and look at this...*gestures toward side of trail* See this rumbling creek? That's danged pretty.
JACK: *nods* Yep, and look at all these shade trees. Just what you need in summer, and their leaves add color in the fall.
SAM: That's right, plus plenty of birds and squirrels and-- *pauses as nearby sound comes closer* Look who's coming by. Hey, Woody. *raises hand in greeting*
WOODY: Hi, guys. *speeds by on bicycle* Bye, guys. Gotta go.
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NOSEY: *stares* That's not a bicycle! They actually allow motorcycles here? In a park?
TROY: *chuckles* It's just a souped up bicycle. Actually, Nosey... *drops voice to a whisper* Miss Mae thought you'd get real excited about a motorcycle so she added that little bit.
NOSEY: *blinks* Huh?
SAM: *nods* And there Woody goes to feed the kitty cats. See 'em? *gestures in direction of nearby leafy bushes*
NOSEY: Cats? *gasps* That is not a kitty cat!
*ROARS* er, em, cough, then...*MEOWS*
NOSEY: Whoa. *backs up* Guys, things are getting weird here. *Gasps* Hey, wait. Who're them? *points at people running around trail*
JACK: Uh oh. *straightens to alert position* That's them, the folks who was on the cruise. *spins around to Sam* Sam, we gotta change recipes on the Zipper Zapper Tea Time since the chocolate and whipped cream didn't work.
TROY: Well, ok, but whaddaya think will work better? And hurry up, those folks look too mighty eager to get some bottles. *takes a careful step backward*
SAM: Hm. *rubs hand over chin* Okay, let's see... *snaps fingers* Hey, I recall Tom saying he planted some chili pepper this year. Let's do away with the chocolate and whipped cream and just add a mighty heaping of that pepper to the recipe. Whoo whee, won't that be spicy? *shakes head in eager anticipation*
TROY AND JACK: *nods* Sounds like a winner. Let's do it. *sends quick glance around* And from the look of things we better get started. NOW.
CROWD SHOUTS: Hey, everybody! That's I.B. Nosey!
SAM AND TROY AND JACK: *gives Nosey incredulous stare* They know you?
NOSEY: Sorry, guys. *releases nervous laugh* I alerted my blog fans on who I was interviewing today and, uh, guess they followed me.
CROWD SHOUTS: We've got the money to pay! Let's get 'em! C'mon! Don't let 'em get away!
JACK AND SAM: Get moving, Troy! *pushes him ahead* Go! Go! Go!
NOSEY: Hey, guys, I'm an expert at running from interviews! Just follow me! *sprints up trail and the Old Staffers leap behind*
SHOUT IS HEARD: We're right behind you, guys! You can't escape!
NOSEY (and the three old staffers): Woody! Woody! Bring that souped up bicycle and get us out of here! Aaaiiii!
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The still and teatime recipe is a work of fiction and was invented in the mind and imagination of the author.
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The old staffers at Petty Park. Photo and names are used by permission.
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