Cindy K. Green Orchestrates an Interview with I.B. Nosey

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! Today I’m coming to you from the music room of… Aack! *covers ears as loud drum noise beats against…well, his own ear drums*

NOSEY: Hey!

*Crowd of teenage chatter smothers Nosey’s outcry*

NOSEY: Hey! I’m I.B. Nosey! *teens continue to yak and to tune instruments. Nosey blinks* Wassa matter with you all? Don’t ‘cha know I’m the only Pukelitzer Award winning journalist and that I’m here to make your day? *waves arms* Hey, I’m talkin’ to you! *Kids stop and stare*

BOY: *eyes widen* Is that the new maestro?

GIRL: Dressed like that? *sniggers*

*Kids approach*

BOY: Man, whadda’ya call this? *fingers sleeve of Nosey’s blazer*

GIRL: Or this tangled bunch of broomstraw? *clenches fist in Nosey’s hair*

2nd BOY: Nice pair of shades, maestro. *taps on lens of Nosey’s glasses*

2nd GIRL: That’s a funny looking baton. *snatches Nosey’s microphone*

NOSEY: Gimme that! *grabs microphone back*

BOY: Hold on. There’s something in his pocket… *reaches for closer look*

NOSEY: Do I know you? *slaps protective hand against blazer*

GIRL: Hmm. *winks at boy* How about we introduce ourselves?

*Together, kids jump on Nosey. He screams* Help! Help! Handsome, cool and suave reporter in need of backup! Like… now would be good!

[And right on cue pan scene to stage left]

WOMAN: *enters* What? Again, Nosey? *clucks tongue* Can’t you go anywhere without creating a riot? *pulls kids off*

NOSEY: Uhhh… who are you?

WOMAN: Hellooo! *plants hands on hips* Didn’t you read the fourth line up? I’m your rescuing help and I arrived right on my cue. *flips hair* As any good female superhero would do.

GIRL: Why’re you helping him? Can’t he take care of himself?

NOSEY: *snarls* Don’t get nosy, gal. That’s my job.

BOY: Aw, all we’re doing is having fun.

WOMAN: *arches brow* You looked more like screaming fans to me.

GIRL: Fans? *makes face* Of his?

NOSEY: You heard right, girlie. *smirks* I’m the hottest heart throb in all the internet.

BOY: *sneers* In your dreams.

NOSEY: Or even night— er, um, that is… *clears throat*

WOMAN: Okay, run along, kids. Nosey’s here to interview me about my book Andrea and the 5-Day Challenge.

NOSEY: Oh, I get it! *snaps fingers* You’re Ms. Cindy Green?

CG: Like, duh, Nosey. *rolls eyes* I’m surprised you remember my name since… *hesitates* you obviously get lost at following directions.

NOSEY: Whaddaya mean? I’m a professional, lady. I always do everything right… uh, usually.

CG: Uh huh. *gives dismissive wave to kids who saunter away* So how come you wound up in this high school music room?

NOSEY: ‘Cause you said to meet Julie Aard. *peers at kids* Is one of them girls Julie?

CG: Not to meet, Nosey, meet at. And it’s Julliard. That’s— *closes eyes and winces* I was warned about you. Not once, not twice, but thrice. But I? Noooo, I just wouldn’t believe the talk.

NOSEY: Ladies talking me up, huh? *puffs out chest* Yeah, I’m famed for that.

CG: *mutters* What have I gotten myself into? Oh, well, here goes. *fishes book out of knapsack* This is my newest release. How do you like the cover?

NOSEY: Heeey, now that’s a cover! Says on here a five day challenge? What’s— *shrieks at screeching note of tuba blowing* Holy foghorn! Where’s the tug boat?

CG: Nosey, you stay right here. *grips Nosey’s elbow* If I’m going through with this interview, then so are you.

NOSEY: But—

CG: If you run off, you’re liable to disappear to the moon!

NOSEY: Er, some folks think I’m there already.

CG: Calm down, Nosey. Just calm down. *straightens Nosey’s tie* Let’s begin our ‘professional’ interview, shall we? Is your atomic battery microphone turned on?

NOSEY: When it glows like this? Sure… um, I mean… uh oh. *stares at mike* Whoa, it’s really sparkling.

CG: Ah, keep it aimed your way, Nosey, while I read the blurb, hm? *turns book over* My book is ‘Andrea and the 5-Day Challenge’ and the blurb reads: ‘Dear Lord, I need Your help and sooner would be better than later. Wouldn’t you know it, just as soon as I decide to attempt the 5-Day Bible Study Challenge, my parents start heaping on loads of pressure to get me into Julliard…’

NOSEY: See…*nods*…I told ya we had to meet Julie Aard.

CG: Hush, Nosey, I’m reading. *begins again:*  ‘My friend Amy isn’t any better, urging me to ask Luke Ryan to homecoming. As if the cute, transfer jock would actually go out with me. I mean, we’re kinda friends, and I’ve enjoyed our Geometry study sessions, but in case Amy hasn’t noticed, I’m the invisible one at…’

NOSEY: *gasps* You mean we can’t see her?

CG: Quiet, Nosey, I’m busy. *proceeds*: ‘I’m the invisible one at Aubrey Christian Academy, and I like it that way. On top of that, I have a feeling Luke’s concealing something behind those chocolate-brown eyes of his…’

NOSEY: For real? Chocolate eyes? *whistles in wonder*

CG: Chocolate-brown eyes, yes, but… Listen to what else I’m saying, will you? *continues*: ‘I know I can be self-centered and a bit melodramatic, but I really do want to seek Your will for my life. Then maybe I’ll even figure out which direction points up…’

NOSEY: Well, if you ask me—

CG: *slaps hand over Nosey’s mouth* Let me finish with: ‘Sincerely, Andrea Jamision, High School Junior, Change-o-phobic & complete neurotic’ *smiles* There. That’s the whole blurb.

NOSEY: Mmm mmm mmm…*mumbles*

CG: What? Oh. *removes hand* Now, tell me, Nosey. Isn’t that the most beautiful blurb you’ve ever…*blinks* Why are you frowning?

NOSEY: Because you’ve butted in on Andrea’s privacy, yeah.

CG: Me? Heavens no, Nosey.

NOSEY: Don’t deny it. Sheesh, you authors! *throws up hands* You think you get all the rights and privileges, eh?

CG: As to what, exactly?

NOSEY: Andrea, who else? The little girl writes a letter, right, a personal one, and what makes you think you can use that as a blurb, I’d like to know.

CG: Remarkable. *stares* I have to say that’s astute of you to notice, Nosey.

NOSEY: Nothing gets by this nose, heh heh. Um — what’s a stoot?

CG: Let me just say that I, as the author, did write out a traditional blurb, but it just wouldn’t do.

NOSEY: Nope?

CG: Nope. So I asked Andrea if I could use her letter instead. What better way to introduce the story than for Andrea to share her thoughts herself.

NOSEY: You asked her, huh?

CG: I did.

NOSEY: *suspicious* Well, just to be sure, I think I’m gonna ask… *looks around room* Where is she? *lowers voice* She’s not, ya know, being invisible, is she?

CG: Well… *shrugs* Admit it, Nosey. Don’t we all feel a little invisible some of the time?

NOSEY: Uhhh…

CG: And Andrea likes blending into the crowd. It’s easier than stepping outside her comfort zone.

NOSEY: But—

CG: You see, she considers herself to be the least interesting of her group of friends.

NOSEY: But—

CG: She isn’t smart like Amy or artistic like Angie or beautiful and popular like Alisha.

NOSEY: But—

CG: She sees herself as that girl with the plain brown hair, size nine feet, and who doesn’t participate much in school activities.

NOSEY: Size nine feet! Holy penny loafers, can you blame her? Although… *strokes chin in considering gesture*… I just wonder…

CG: Yes?

NOSEY: Which way do they point?

CG: Excuse me?

NOSEY: Yeah, you said she wanted to find which direction ‘pointed up’. So, like, do those size nines show her the way?

CG: *giggles* As to that, you’ll just have to read her book.

NOSEY: Aw, why can’t you tell me now? Huh? Huh, can’t you? Do I really gotta wait?

CG: Yes, you do! However… *relents* Well, I can say that things do turn a bit disastrous for a while and it seems she’ll never make it right but God has a way of turning things around.

*Trumpet notes blasts the air. Nosey leaps and plasters himself against wall*

NOSEY: Yikes! Call the calvary! I think things are getting disastrous in here!

CG: You know… *surveys kids with thoughtful gaze* I have a feeling they’re almost through warming up their instruments. You might should move along in the interview. Next question?

NOSEY: Sure. Sure, I have one. *eyes kids warily* It’s that Luke fella. I’d like to know—

CG: Oh, Luke, he’s the cute transfer student from California. *wears dreamy expression* He might be an all-star varsity baseball player, but he’s not like the rest of the A-list kids.

NOSEY: Uh huh, but—

CG: He’s very down to earth and not looking for what’s popular and cool.

NOSEY: Uh huh, but—

CG: He sees something special in Andrea that others have missed.

NOSEY: Uh huh, but—

CG: She has value and when they get together they just kind of have that spark.

NOSEY: Spark, is it? Where? In his eyes? Uh huh, that’s what I wanna say. You claimed he concealed something behind his ‘chocolate brown eyes’. Well, I bet I know just what he’s concealing!

CG: *gasps* Really? What?

NOSEY: He’s stolen a whole gift bag of Gum Drop Island goodies, right?

CG: *grins* You guessed it! Luke is full of all kinds of surprises.

NOSEY: Ha! Didn’t surprise me none. Guys with brown eyes, they’re sneaky, you know.

CG: You have brown eyes, Nosey.

NOSEY: Uhhh…

CG: Seriously, though, he’s had to mature quickly. His family life is not the greatest. They’ve experienced a personal tragedy, and that’s part of the reason why he latches onto Andrea early on.

NOSEY: Uh oh. *shakes microphone* Might be a real tragedy here too. Battery’s draining low on atomic power.

CG: How is that possible?

NOSEY: You’re asking me?

CG: Ahem. Of course. What should we do now?

NOSEY: *brightens* I have a great idea.

CG: Good. Let’s hear it.

NOSEY: How about I sign a trillion fan photos of me and you take ‘em back to all your readers—

CG: Nothing doing.

NOSEY: Okay, how about I sign a million—

CG: No way.

NOSEY: Er, a thousand?

CG: No.

NOSEY: Hundred?

CG: *glares*

NOSEY: Ten?

CG: Not even one.

NOSEY: C’mon! Don’t you want a picture of my masculine manliness to carry in your wallet? *slants face for better [cough, cough] view of profile*

CG: I’ll tell you precisely what I want, Nosey.

NOSEY: Yeah? *runs tip of finger around ear and leans in closer* Lay it on me, girlie.

CG: It’s just this… I have a message for my readers.

NOSEY: Swell. We’re all ready for you to spill the beans.

CG: Okay. Here’s my message — I’d like for them to know that there’s a whole lot they can take away from this first book in the Aubrey Christian Academy series. First, I hope they see that reading can be fun and that there are some good wholesome and entertaining books out there.

NOSEY: Huh. Call that a message?

CG: Don’t you?

NOSEY: Not to me.

CG: Why not?

NOSEY: Because messages are, ya know, secret words written in morse code, pig latin or even Possumese.

CG: But I don’t want the message hidden, Nosey.

NOSEY: Sure ya do!

CG: No, I don’t. I want readers to take away the theme of this book which is looking outside of ourselves, our own problems and our own insecurities and doing what you can for others.

NOSEY: But—

CG: Nosey, it’s like this— just be that friend at the right time and the right place. I’m also hoping they love meeting Andrea, Amy, Angie and Alisha as much as I had creating them.

NOSEY: Well, if that’s how you wanna roll—

*Door bursts open and man strides inside*

MAESTRO: Ring-a-ding-a-ling, my little musical budding artists! Yes, it is I, the very one, the very only, the very favorite Maestro B. Flatt Sharp at your service!

*Kids gather around, swooning and exclaiming*

MAESTRO: Yes, enjoy me, for Maestro B. Flatt Sharp shall broaden your humble little dull minds into the jingly-jangly wonders of chords and keys and squawks and squeals and— Aack! *sees Nosey and throws arms across face* The Maestro B. Flatt Sharp is attacked! Attacked viciously! How can I conduct my very one, my very only, my very favorite masterpiece when I am faced with… that?

KIDS: *all clamor together* What is it, Maestro? Where? What can we do?

MAESTRO: It is there! *points quivering finger straight at…[pan scene up and down, around and around -- where is he??? Oh, uh huh, spotted crouching behind cello case]*

CG: Nosey! *whispers in aside* Take off that tweedy weedy blazer. It's insulting to the arts.

MAESTRO: *wails* Remove the sight from me! The Maestro B. Flatt Sharp’s very one, very only, very favorite brilliance is hindered by such monstrosity!

KIDS: *roar* Grab ‘im! C’mon!

*They charge toward Nosey and he leaps in the air, striking a high C note as he bolts for fire escape*

CG: Nosey, you chicken! Come back here and face the music!

NOSEY: Are you crazy, lady! *shouts over shoulder as he disappears down hallway* I’m making like Andrea and gonna get myself invisible quick!  

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Available at Amazon

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Visit Cindy's Website

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If you enjoyed this interview, schedule your own! Contact Nosey via the Form on the left hand side of this site!

Ahoy Gum Drop! for Your Ears

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. And do I have some news to report. 

What might it be?

Only that 'Ahoy Gum Drop!', the book that introduces -who else?- that incredible, fantastic, and sharpest dressed dude that ever graced cyberspace, heh heh, that's me, of course- is now available in sound. Stereo sound, even.

Have you wondered where it all began? Have you wondered why I continually report about the sweetness of Gum Drop Island? Have you wondered where my good looks come from?

Hey, who snickered?

Ahem. As I was saying...

Owen McCuen, narrator and the 'champion of make-pretend' will reveal the origins of not only my Pukelitzer Award winning self, but shares the extraordinary tale of some Mishaps who sailed from the shores of Gum Drop Island over to -um, er-- checking my notes, heh heh-- oh, yeah. They go Somewhere Else.

Hm. 

Where do they go? Well, if you're Feeling Nosey like me, you'll wanna listen and find out. So head your nose over to this link, (see below) and download your very own copy of 'Ahoy Gum Drop!' in audible. It'll make your ears happy!

Ahoy Gum Drop! in Audible

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Visit Owen McCuen on the web!

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EXTRA BONUS: Official unofficial launch party coming soon to Facebook. Clear your calendars and BE READY to attend!  

What the World Needs Now Is...

Greetings, cyber-world! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm reporting on some candid... that is in, like 'candy', get it? Heh heh. Ahem. As I was saying, I'm making a BIG announcement!

World, are you ready to hear about Gum Drop Island?!?

No, not with me and my microphone, though I know it's your dream. Heh heh.

Er, where was I?

Oh, yeah. Get ready to hear Gum Drop-- hm, think I said that.

Um... *checks notes* Here it is! Right. Get ready to hear, as in really, really hear. With your ears. With your head phones. With your volume turned up loud because -- Gum Drop Island is going audible!

No date for release is confirmed as yet but it's my understanding that the incredible Owen McCuen, the 'champion of make-pretend' who is narrating this delicious little tale, is stuffing his pockets full of a variety of tasties before his voyage aboard the Good Ship Sugar Daddy and sails back into The Real World. Sir O. Yuri Wiseguy-eh counted the edibles with a critical eye and claims Owen has packed enough sweet treats to last -- oh, maybe a month. Wow! Owen must have the deep pockets of a hungry kangaroo.

So, friends, Romans, and Womans, perk up your ears! 'Ahoy Gum Drop' is coming alive in SOUND to a speaker near you. Oh goody, goody gum drop!

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(Audible Cover)

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Many thanks to Owen McCuen. 

Visit him on Facebook.

Aren't You Feeling...Talky?

Announcing interviews with voice!!!

What? An I.B. Nosey interview - with voice?

That's right! I.B. Nosey speaks - and he can speak with you.

How, you ask? (and I'm glad you did, heh heh)

Well, for that bit of information, click on the page here that says "audible interviews available". 

Uh huh. If reading an I.B. Nosey interview is what makes your world go 'round, then an actual convo with this official unofficial reporter will make your world soar into supersonic overdrive.

As in "it's him! It's him! I'm really talking to I.B. Nosey!!"

Hey, I've entered the 21st century, people. I.B. Nosey does talkies now.

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Julie Coulter Bellon Sparks with I.B. Nosey

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I’m coming to you from the apartment of *squints to read name beneath mailbox* Julie Coulter Bellon and she’s--

*Door flies open and a gallon bucket of water splashes through. Nosey shrieks and leaps aside*

NOSEY: Watch it, lady! You’ll short out my mike!

JCB: *stomps foot* Don’t just stand there! Help me put out this fire!

NOSEY: Fire? *wanders inside as JCB races back through hallway* Shouldn’t the fellas who drive the big red truck be called?

JCB: It’s just a kitchen fire. *grabs up extinguisher and sprays foam in the direction of pan atop stove* Save my book. It’s on the table over there.

NOSEY: *picks up book, glances over it, and raises brows* Ashes Ashes, eh?

JCB: I think that’s done it. *lowers extinguisher* This is just a bit too realistic for my Sophia.

NOSEY: Sophia?

JCB: My heroine. Read the blurb off the book.

NOSEY: Oh, right. Are you ever really innocent until proven guilty? Sophia Naziri is wanted for questioning in the murder of a U.S. senator.  She’s worried the police will show up on her doorstep any moment, but when Detective Colby Black appears, it’s to help her put out a kitchen fire, not take her in. Yet. *pauses* She caused this fire? *chuckles* How? By trying her hardest to recreate some Gum Drop Island fudge, but -um, obviously hasn’t conquered the knack.

JCB: No, but that’s very close. She was making fry bread and a newspaper headline caught her attention because it had to do with the murder she’s wanted for. She turned her back for just a second and well, everything spun out of control. *bats lashes at Nosey* I’m sure you can relate to that, right, I.B.?

NOSEY: Huh? *starts* Er…um…that is, hey, what was that about a newspaper headline and *gulps* murder?

JCB: As was stated, a U.S. senator was murdered and ended up in the trunk of the car Sophia was driving. So she’s wanted for questioning as to the why.

NOSEY: If you ask me, that’s a good question.

JCB: But I didn’t.

NOSEY: What?

JCB: Ask you.

NOSEY: Oh.

JCB: She thinks that’s why Detective Colby Black appears. *waves hand* Read on. You’ll learn more about him.

NOSEY: Yeah, right. Okay. *clears throat* His easy smile and persistence in getting to know her pushes all her troubles to the back of her mind, until a hit man tracks her down. *whistles* Who sends the hit man?

JCB: A very bad man. I can’t mention his name because that’d ruin the surprise!

NOSEY: *gazes around kitchen* Might get a surprise when they turn up here, too.

JCB: *sighs* Her cooking skills, or lack thereof, is not what intrigues Colby. And the way to find out what intrigues him is for you to continue reading.

NOSEY: Sure. I’m intrigued by what intrigues Colby, heh heh.

JCB: *rolls eyes* Whatever.

NOSEY: Ahem. Picking up the narrative: Getting arrested becomes the least of Sophia’s worries and the handsome detective could be her only way out if she tells him the truth. Colby Black’s sniper skills have been a blessing and a curse to him. As a member of a Hostage Negotiation Team, he can use them to save people, but sometimes he can’t protect the innocent despite his best efforts. When a hostage situation goes bad, he tries to put it behind him by helping out his mysterious next-door neighbor, Sophia Naziri. *looks up* How did that hostage situation ‘go bad’?

JCB: So many questions! You certainly are nosy, aren’t you?

NOSEY: *puffs out chest* That’s my name. Questions are my game, heh heh.

JCB: *slaps forehead with palm of hand* How could I forget? Care for a cup of coffee?

NOSEY: Don’t plug that pot in a wet socket, lady!

JCB: *makes face* Oh, all right. I like cold frappuccino better anyway. *opens bottle and then leans against counter* To answer your nosy question - a hostage situation gone bad is all that it implies. You know, death and mayhem. *shakes head* Poor Colby.

NOSEY: *stares at charred pot atop stove* And poor Colby if he expects a gourmet meal.

JCB: Well, this isn’t Gum Drop Island. Life isn’t all about gingerbread shrubs and licorice trees, you know.

NOSEY: *raises brows* How come?

JCB: Because this is about Sophia and Colby. Shall I finish? *grabs book from Nosey and reads* But she pulls Colby into a web of lies and conspiracy that will force him to use every skill he has in order to survive. Faced with the moment of truth, can he trust anyone around him including the woman at the center of it all?

NOSEY: Uh oh. And what is that ‘moment of truth’?

JCB: *gives wicked smile* You’ll have to read the book to find out!

NOSEY: But if all this *waves arms to encompass surroundings* drama happens to Sophia, why is Colby so persistent in trying to get to know her?

JCB: Well, he’s intrigued by her. She needs his help but doesn’t want it. She’s beautiful and strong, but is obviously hiding something. It’s an irresistible combination for a detective!

NOSEY: No fooling? *mutters* I bet Heathcliff would.

JCB: *laughs* That possum is one tough character, for sure.

NOSEY: So. *sidesteps puddle on floor* What about you? You like to cook?

JCB: Let’s just say that I love to write. International romantic suspense novels because *dreamy expression crosses face* I get to travel to distant lands to research and add an authentic feel to all my books. My favorite cities are, so far, Athens, Paris, Ottawa, and London. Know what my goal in life is? You’ll find this interesting, Nosey. My goal is to find the perfect hiding spot for my Canadian chocolate stash.

NOSEY: *gasps* What stash? I have a feeling -and my sniffing-out-the-news-nose knows that your so-called stash is none other than stolen delectable delights from Gum Drop Island!

JCB: *clutches pearls* Well, I NEVER! My dear sweet mother sends me care packages of delectable Canadian candy to keep my sanity. *sniffs* I have never stolen so much as a chocolate chip OR a gum drop.

NOSEY: But--

JCB: I’ve earned a Secondary Education, English teaching degree from Brigham Young University and I’ve taught a journalism course there for 14 years. That experience got me in the habit of reading multiple newspapers every day and staying on the cutting edge of current events and world news - which is where I get my story ideas. So you see I’m too busy to go around stealing any candy from anywhere.

NOSEY: Well. *gives grudging shrug* What about that ‘cutting edge’ stuff? Doesn’t that shred your little tootsies?

JCB: I’m Canadian, so we’re extra tough. No problems there.

*Pounding knock sounds at door. Voice calls out* Open up!

NOSEY: Who’s there?

JCB: That’s Colby. *opens door and hero storms inside. He stops, glares at Nosey and points finger*

Colby Black: What are you doing here?

NOSEY: *glances around* Obviously looking for an exit, pal.

JCB: What’s wrong, Colby?

Colby Black: Read the beginning of that blurb again. It says that when the kitchen fire starts Colby Black appears - NOT this fool.

JCB: You’re so right, Colby. It does say that.

*Hero marches toward Nosey. Nosey shrieks and backs against edge of table. Hero lunges, misses, and Nosey streaks out doorway*

Colby Black: *on radio* Team, we’ve got an escaping target. Do whatever it takes to capture him. I want him pronto! What? His crime? Let me tell you, it tops the list. It’s absolutely insufferable. That long-nosed reporter dared to impersonate a hero!

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Follow Julie's acclaimed writing, book reviews, and get writing tips at her site.

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Ashes Ashes for sale at Amazon.

It's Finally Settled!

So what happened to this wacko, weirdo, bizarre tale you ask?

To catch you up:

While you might think nothing was going on at this blog, here's the scoop on behind the scenes: Petunia the Skunk's scent mellowed out and she met Pedro, a latin hunk of a skunk who fell nose-over-tail in love with her. They were last seen singing "Lollipop, Lollipop" before disappearing into the sunset over the flagpole atop a Manhattan skyscraper.

O.G. Whattapayne resigned her position at ShutUrFace & DoWhatISay, and went to work as a doughnut hole taster for Knuckle-Smucker Puddin' & Pie Factory.

Y. Lee Persimmon eloped with Inves T. Gator. They now operate a 'Cheat 'em & Beat 'em' Mohave Desert car wash business.

Gagga DeBore got sued from an unnamed ex-employee of The Old Bag. No other details are known at this time.

Tobe A. WiteNite went on extended leave of absence. Last we heard he's the consulting attorney for the television show, NCPFH. ( Nim-Com-Poops-For-Hire)

Gail Branan gave up her job at SuckItUp & PayMeNow to become a best-selling author of even more bizarre tales than this one!

Sneak M. Hijinx...hmm, I have a feeling he's sneaking around somewhere.

Cyberbug 1 won the Ugly Bug Ball contest and Cyberbug 2 was runner-up. That's all the glory they need.

And I.B. Nosey?

With this case now settled and behind him, he can concentrate once more on doing what he does best...er, or is that worse? Well, he's ready to return to interviewing. He's decided to make this blog his home, since even the title says, "Home of your 'official unofficial' reporter." (though, of course, that won't stop him from dropping in at other blogs/sites)

Whew. It's so good to be home, huh, Nosey? Relax. Lean back, prop your feet up and chomp down on that aroma-wafting box of chocolates that's just arrived from Gumdrop Island.

Uh...wait. They really are from Gumdrop Island - right????

Holy Cyberspace Dribble!

(Buzz, buzz, grunt…and lands!)

CyberBug 1 blinks 12 pairs of eyes at CB 2.

CB 1: Hey, watsamatta u? (peels buggy hands - only 6 of ‘em this time - (ha ha, readers, bet ya really enjoy learning all these intimate details, eh?) away from his companion’s face.

CB 2: (wails) I can’t watch! We left last episode at a cliffhanger and I’m scared to know where all those mindless morons are rushing to!

CB 1 stares down at the stampeding mob of Tobe A. WiteNite, Gail, O.G. Whattapayne, Y. Lee Persimmon, Gagga DeBore, Petunia the Skunk, Inves T. Gator, Peachy Keen and Felicity Funk and, and…whoaaaa, doggies!!!

TAW: Holy Cyberspace Dribble!! (flails arms as he teeters at edge of a high cliff) Back, everyone! Don’t push!! This is a literal cliffhanger and I’m not liking it at all!

Gail: (Arm raises, half-way towards TAW’s back, ready to shove.  Hesitates and pulls arm back.)  I’m sworn to protect the innocent and the stupid.  I just can’t do it.  I swore an oath.

GDB: Woman!  Oath-smoath!  You’ll never get an opportunity like that again! And how the heck did we get HERE, anyway?  We were in the middle of town!

TAW: Does it really matter if the last episode left us in the middle of a city with skyscrapers? We are now facing a RIVER FULL OF SWIMMING CROCODILES!

Inves T. Gator: Not me, dude. Don’t care if my last name is Gator. I’m not kin to them babies down there eyeballing us like a plate of Gum Drop Island Cocoa Fluffies. (flips cellphone, dials number) Send the Later-Gater Getaway Tater. I’m outta here! (turns tail and scurries away in a cloud of dust)

YLP: Hey, wait for me. (Grabs onto Gator and pulls herself free.) Phew, that was close.

OGW: A partnership isn’t worth this!  What am I still doing here?  What?  Why, oh why?!? Didn’t I take that offer from Ambulance Chasers-R-Us?!?!

TAW: What a pain your useless chatter is, woman! If you have no bright ideas to help us cross this moat with those teeth-snapping reptiles down there, will you kindly just SHUT UP!!

Maniacal laughter is heard from across the water. Sneak M. Hijinx stands atop a boulder, cape billowing in the breeze.

SMH: So, you gullible goonies! Come to the end of it all, have you?

TAW: Deliver Nosey to us! That rascal hasn’t paid his bill!

Gail: Speaking of which, your malpractice insurance got cancelled last week for non-payment of premium.  You might wanta look into that!

YLP: Why don’t you all just shut up? What a bunch of jabberwalkers. Lord, I swear, you’d help out a lot more if you’d be quiet.

Petunia:  Quiet? Quiet you say? How can I be quiet when my heart is fit to bust with emotion and passion and excitement and feeling and sentiment and… oh, quiet, that’s the last thing I wanna be.  That’s the last thing I can be… 

GDB:  Will all you of stop babbling and FOLLOW THAT CROCODILE!!

SMH: If you all desire that ‘official unofficial’ reporter, then come get him!

FF: Where’s Nosey? HUH? Where is he? What have you done with him?

PK:  Who? Me?  Done what with whom? Nosey? Who? Me? I would sacrifice my life for him rather than harm one hair on his head.  Manner of speaking.

TAW: (snaps fingers) Yes, why not? Young ladies, sacrifice yourselves. Jump into that water!

Gail: Tobe, that’s really bad legal advice, and I just told you they cancelled your  malpractice insurance!

TAW: What’s the problem? It works in all those late-night B-rated movies.

CB 1: (points) Looky that! The Old Bag has gathered up her skirts and has plunged into the water! She’s leaping off the back of one croc over to the other!

YLP: Who you calling an old bag?

OGW: (Whips out her cell phone) Ambulance Chasers-R-Us?  Do you still have that opening for a young, eager ambulance chaser?

TAW: (gulps) They’re actually making it! Well, never let it said that the White Knight doesn’t do his job. Gail, carry me across.

Gail: Does the phrase “When donkeys fly” hold any meaning for you? That just ain’t in my employment contract!

TAW: How hard can it be? And what do you think I pay you for?

FF: Nosey, where are you Nosey?

PK:  Honey bubble sweetie pie sugar-coated almonds with chocolate sprinkleys stuckie on toppie… where are you?

Petunia: Oh listen to her. I will leap and dance and jump and spring and hop…

SMH: (eyes glint devilishly) Come along, my merry mischief-makers! There are more hijinx awaiting you on this side of the river!

CB 1: Uh oh, oh no! Petunia is trying to leap on those broad backs, but her scent! The crocs are turning belly up! Can she make it? And Gail – Tobe’s pushed her into the river to use as a life preserver!  She’s sinking with poor old Tobe clutching her eyebrows for dear life!

CB 2: We have to help! (zooms down to the river)

Does it end like this???? What might be next for the mob of mindless morons? What do you think? Stay tuned, readers!

To be Continued

Same Nosey time, same Nosey blog!

(look for us on October 17, heh heh)