Pat McCuen Draws a Fine Line with I.B. Nosey

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! I’m officially unofficially on my way to an interview with… yuck! *sounds of struggle* Hey, what’s this goop on the sidewalk? I - can’t - *strains* get -loose…

VOICE: Nosey, that’s an official unofficial ink puddle. My ink puddle, as a matter-of-fact.

NOSEY: Huh? Who are you? Wait… you look kinda familiar with that bearded jaw and— what’s that crazy gizmo you’re clutching so tight there, pal?

PM: Name’s Patrick McCuen. And this is my pencil. It never leaves my side.

NOSEY: A pencil? Who uses pencils these days, fella? Everything’s gone wild and ‘net techy, just in case you’re not rolling with the latest news.

PM: But you are?

NOSEY: I are what?

PM: Yeah, I’ve often wondered what you are too.

NOSEY: Sure, I’m— huh?

PM: *chuckles* I’m techy, Nosey. But I happen to need pencils.

NOSEY: For what? Adding two and two? Let me help ya out there, dude. Two and two comes to the grand ol’ sum of…uh…er…um…

PM:  Uh huh. Like I said, I need pencils, Nosey, for drawing things. Like my comic strip, “The Devil & Gandhi”, mushrooms, greeting cards. And you.

NOSEY: Whoaaa! *blinks* Me? Did you say me?

PM: Yep. As a matter-of-fact, you’re right now in the middle of my newest ink puddle sketch.

NOSEY: *frowns in thought* Ya know, there's something about you... Yeah! *snaps fingers* Your beard, that’s what it is. Did ya know that curly strand number 1,356 does NOT match strand 1,357?

PM: *whistles in wonder* You can count?

NOSEY: You bet your inky pinkie fingers that I— heyyy!

PM: But there’s a problem, Nosey.

NOSEY: There sure is. You’re smearing smudges all over my atomic Nosey microphone!

PM: Not that. It’s your dark sunglasses. Maybe I need to lighten ‘em up a bit…

NOSEY: *sounds of hand slapping* Don’t touch me, fella. Haven’t you already done enough?

PM: Like what?

NOSEY: Hellooo! Like the smudges, Mr. Artiste. Yeah, and besides that, you’re the one who gave me this long, pointed nose.

PM: But, Nosey. It fits you.

NOSEY: Yeah, well, this blazer doesn’t fit. Does NOT fit.

PM: What’s wrong with it? I thought you were hip-hop cool about your...shall we say, unique... coloring.

NOSEY: Nothing wrong with the tweedy-weedy style, man. The problem is that you left off my muscles!

PM: *coughs* Um. Did you say muscles?

NOSEY: Yeah, give me huge Rambo muscles. After all, if you’re gonna sketch a macho guy like me, ya need to get it right, heh heh.

PM: Ah. I do see one muscle that needs a touch-up.

NOSEY: Which one?

PM: Your mouth.

NOSEY: *gasps* No dice, fella! *pulls leg out of sticky-wicky ink puddle* I’m outta here!

PM: Nosey! *races behind the fleeing Nosey* Get back to my drawing board!

GANDHI: *awakes from meditation and watches the bizarre scene*…Friends, remember this wise Gandhi proverb: ‘Where there is no Nosey, there is peace and sanity.’

NOSEY: Hey, you. Mind your own business! *streaks past Gandhi* Don’t be giving this mad cartoonist any bright ideas!

PM: Too late, Nosey! *waves pencil in air* I have an eraser and I know how to use it!

NOSEY: Aaaiiiiii!

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Visit Pat at his site, The InkPuddle

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If you enjoyed this interview, schedule your own family-friendly work/site. Contact Nosey via the Form on left-hand side of this blog!

Ray O' Sunshine Here, Mon'

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! Look who's making the news today!

Uh huh, it's Ray O' Sunshine, mon', straight from the spores of Moldy Corners.

Uhhh, you know who he is, right?

We spoke about him right here in our introductory book, "Ahoy, Gum Drop!" Or, if you'd rather give a listen, enjoy this sample at Audible. Or try iTunes. Yeah.

So, without further ado, mon' (see, Ray O' Sunshine can even impress a celebrity journalist like me, heh heh), here is Ray and His Spotlight's new hit single, "Gum Drop Island, O Baby!" (be sure to click the link, friends)

Cover Reveal!

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm sharing a cover reveal of Ahoy, Gum Drop!, that delightfully deliciousness-ness tale where I'm 'introduced' to the public. Like a famed celebrity like me needs a formal introduction, right? Heh heh.

Anyway, Miss Mae decided (and about time too, if you ask me) that the old book needed a face lift, with some of our most adventuresome characters (illustrated by artist Patrick McCuen) gracing said face. Whoa. Check out Sir O. Yuri Wiseguy-eh, Heathcliff, and The Narrator. Pretty cool, huh? 

The new face lift (no, not mine. This handsome mug doesn't need any improvement, ya know) is now on all eBooks purchased from Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, Apple, and other digital retailers.

But, nope. Not on the print version. I'm still in black and white there. Sigh.

It might be a new cover, but inside the pages it's still the most unbelievable, wild, bizarre, and wackiness of stories you've ever read.

Oh, and did you know we're in Audible too? Heh heh.

A Gift for All My Friends

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm here to announce an announcement, and boy, is it good. It's something to do with adventure, with danger, with me, and it's FREE!

Uh...er, wait. What was that about 'danger'?

Oops. This Pukelitzer award winning journalist is intrepid -maybe- but I've never met a danger that I've liked.

So, um, without any more Nosey words 'cause I'm, like, got an appointment with -let me check- yeah, with the President of the Peanut Gallery. I'm gonna split. Like now!

From Miss Mae: What Nosey meant to say is that I'm offering a FREE eBook to my friends and fans. Yes, FREE! This is a mini-read given as a gift for your enjoyment. Wanna know what it is? Well, you're Feeling Nosey, right? So go over to Smashwords and get your copy of "Fated Destiny...Oh, Yeah?" today!

Nosey Brings You the News -- about Coffee!

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm here to bring you the nosy news you always wanted to know, but wasn't nosy enough to ask. Never fear. I.B. Nosey and his nosy microphone to the rescue, heh heh.

Chef at Gum Drop Island, Wrap Periwinkle, has created a new island drink, a combination of coffee and --what else-- chocolate! You'll love choffee, especially as it's non-fattening and non-real, as in only virtual Heh heh.

But for you coffee lovers, did you know there's some crazy facts about coffee? Yes, your intrepid internet reporter has braved the infested newsy waters to bring you things you never ever thought about.

Don't thank me. I'm just clever that way. Heh heh.

Be sure to check out this link.

And now you know the Nosey about your coffee.

Come join me at the Hi-Octane Caffeine Coffee Shop for more fun stupid stuff, and things you care absolutely nothing about. But, hey, aren't you Feeling Nosey anyway?

Nosey's Nosy About -- Alice in Wonderland

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter! As always, heh heh, I'm right on the trail of a newsworthy, possibly Pukelitzer Award winning, subject. I've noted that I haven't alerted the world to this fascinating read called, "Alice in Wonderland." It's nowhere as fun and zany as my own charming self zig-zagging along the paths of Gum Drop Island, but I can't be Everywhere, ya know.

The latest memo says this tale is a classic about a little girl and some crazy characters she encounters in a Strange Land. Gee, this sounds more and more like some of the adventures I've been on, heh heh.

 BLURB: In 1862 Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, a shy Oxford mathematician with a stammer, created a story about a little girl tumbling down a rabbit hole. Thus began the immortal adventures of Alice, perhaps the most popular heroine in English literature. Countless scholars have tried to define the charm of theAlice books–with those wonderfully eccentric characters the Queen of Hearts, Tweedledum, and Tweedledee, the Cheshire Cat, Mock Turtle, the Mad Hatter et al.–by proclaiming that they really comprise a satire on language, a political allegory, a parody of Victorian children’s literature, even a reflection of contemporary ecclesiastical history. Perhaps, as Dodgson might have said, Alice is no more than a dream, a fairy tale about the trials and tribulations of growing up–or down, or all turned round–as seen through the expert eyes of a child.

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What's my thoughts regarding this G-rated story? I'll let my rating system give you an idea, heh heh.

You Gotta Meet These Characters!

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter, bringing you the news that no one else will bring because no one else knows the news like this nosy reporter, heh heh.

You've heard me speak of Gum Drop Island, and it's come to my attention... wait, let me check my notes... oh yeah, heh heh, that was actually my past due bill for my latest shipment of Gum Drop Island chocolate... Er, *mutter, mutter* Here it is! My announcement card...

Yeah, I'm to introduce you to some of the characters you'll meet in the "Ahoy, Mischaps" series. Oh, you say you didn't know Gum Drop Island is now a series? What've you been doing? Living on Pluto? 'Cause you certainly haven't attended my latest Pukelitzer Prize Award dinner. If you had, you'd have known -- oh, you haven't attended any of my award dinners.

Hm.

Never fear. I'll reserve you a whole banquet table for my future dinners. Heh heh.

So, just a reminder of who'll you meet in these "Ahoy, Mischaps" series which begins with Book 1, of course, "Ahoy, Gum Drop!"

Feast your eyes on my friends below. Can you recognize 'em?

1) There's me, heh heh, on the top, right where I belong, but..uh...why is Dr. Ag O. Nee leering at me?

I'll leave it to you to look closely and see if you can identify:

2) Sir O. Yuri Wiseguy-eh
3) The Narrator
4) Moose
5) Speck
6) Spang
7) Spit
8) Mandibles

Yeah, and, like, the second in the series, "Ahoy, Out There!" is now available in print and eBook. Coming soon as audio with narrator Owen McCuen returning as...well, all of us! Heh heh

Artwork by Pat McCuen

(watermarked by blackened pen)