February 2018 Insecure Writers Support Group Posting...Yeah

Go to this link --> : IWSG

NOSEY: Greetings, cybernuts! It's another month for...*checks calendar*...holy Cockroach Day, it's February already!

COCKROACH: You called?

NOSEY: *jumps* Aiii, what're ya doing here?

COCKROACH: Did you mean to say 'GroundHog Day'? Cause, like, honker dude, Chuckee G. Hog, is sleeping in today.

NOSEY: Yeah? He's taking a day off?

COCKROACH: Well...he's feeling kinda insecure, ya know. *looks gloomy* I know the feeling.

NOSEY: Aw, listen, roachie fella, you don't gotta feel so insecure around me, 'cause I like roaches! Yeah.

COCKROACH: *brightens* You don't say?

NOSEY: *reconsiders* Er, well, um....*clears throat* Maybe we can discuss this a little later, pal? I was kinda busy with introducing Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group blog post, ya know.

C. R. (short for Cockroach, dear readers): *grinds roachy teeth - yep, they've got 'em, all right* That Alex J. Cavanugh guy. D'ya know he ran my whole family outta one of his spaceship tales?

NOSEY: Is that right? *gives nervous laugh* Well...hm, that is...*inhales* As I was saying, Alex's purpose for the ISWG is:

C.R. *yawns*

NOSEY: *glances at C.R., and tries to speak again* Yeah, as I was saying, the purpose is:

To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

C.R. *cleans antennae* I've crawled all over his computer screen, ya know.

NOSEY: Whose?

C.R.: Cavanaugh's. He always asks a question of the month too, don't he?

NOSEY: Don't horn in, roachy. I was getting to that...

C.R.: So what's the question?

NOSEY: Uhhh...

C.R.: I have it right here, Mr. Inept Reporter. *withdraws phone from cockroach vest pocket*

NOSEY: Watch it. *snarls* Nobody can call me inept. Call me when I'm in hot water, maybe.

C.R.: *glances up from where he's scrolling through phone* That don't make no kind of sense.

NOSEY: *blinks* Isn't that what I just said?

C.R.: Nosey, I -- oh, hey! Here it is: That ol' Alex who ran screaming off the ship when he saw me on the starboard control lever asks this month's question of 'What do you love about the genre you write in most often?'

NOSEY: *scratches head in puzzlement* Yeah, that's a -- I mean, um, Miss Mae, she -- well, she's writing all kinds of  stuff in her 'Ahoy, Mischaps!' series lately, so....

Series:
1) Ahoy, Gum Drop!
2) Ahoy, Out There!
3) Ahoy, Mummy Mia!

C.R.: So? Ain't she loving it?

NOSEY: Of course she's loving it. I'm in the stories!

C.R.: You are? Why?

NOSEY: Why? Cause I make the stories fun, el roachie-o. Yeah, 'cause Sir O. Yuri Wiseguy-eh, The Narrator, Heathcliff the Private Detective Possum, Dr. Ag O. Nee the 'Mad Scientist Extraordinaire', Spit the Stuttering Snake, Moose--

C.R.: *interrupts* Okay, okay, shut your wide-of-mouth already.  

NOSEY:  But I'm not finished, see. Miss Mae is enjoying writing the silliness of our tales because they're imaginative, creative, and original.

(let's hear it for originality, folks)

C.R.: *eyes Nosey's attire* Like your tweedy-weedy blazer, huh?

NOSEY: *puffs out chest* One of a kind, my little crawling insect friend. Heh heh. What'd ya think of that?

C.R.: I think it's missing one thing.

NOSEY: What'd ya mean? This blazer ain't missin' nuthin'! *hesitates* Uh, what's it need?

C.R.: Me! *leaps onto Nosey and his hairy, creepy, unshaved legs runs and zigs and zags and scurries and hurries...*

(what a tweedy-weedy blazer looks like from deep inside its tweedy-weedy threads)

NOSEY: Ack, ack! *whacks at C.R.* Don't tickle, don't tickle! Ooh, ooh, oh oh oh ohhhhhh.....*releases whoops of Nosey guffaws* Help! Help! Alex! Get this crazy bug off'n me! Aiiii....

Alex: *hiding in corner, whispers* Huh uh, Nosey. Not me! *runs, trips, runs, trips and speeds over to next blog....*  

             ROACHES!!!!

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Hey, yo, readers! Be nosey, and sign up for Miss Mae's --> newsletter! Why not? It's FREE!

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And, did you also know that a short tale about me, I.B. Nosey, your favorite intrepid internet reporter is FREE for you to simply download? Yes, come meet your Fated Destiny...Oh,Yeah! 

   

Nosey Brings You the News -- about Coffee!

Greetings, cybernuts! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm here to bring you the nosy news you always wanted to know, but wasn't nosy enough to ask. Never fear. I.B. Nosey and his nosy microphone to the rescue, heh heh.

Chef at Gum Drop Island, Wrap Periwinkle, has created a new island drink, a combination of coffee and --what else-- chocolate! You'll love choffee, especially as it's non-fattening and non-real, as in only virtual Heh heh.

But for you coffee lovers, did you know there's some crazy facts about coffee? Yes, your intrepid internet reporter has braved the infested newsy waters to bring you things you never ever thought about.

Don't thank me. I'm just clever that way. Heh heh.

Be sure to check out this link.

And now you know the Nosey about your coffee.

Come join me at the Hi-Octane Caffeine Coffee Shop for more fun stupid stuff, and things you care absolutely nothing about. But, hey, aren't you Feeling Nosey anyway?

Holy Cyberspace Dribble!

(Buzz, buzz, grunt…and lands!)

CyberBug 1 blinks 12 pairs of eyes at CB 2.

CB 1: Hey, watsamatta u? (peels buggy hands - only 6 of ‘em this time - (ha ha, readers, bet ya really enjoy learning all these intimate details, eh?) away from his companion’s face.

CB 2: (wails) I can’t watch! We left last episode at a cliffhanger and I’m scared to know where all those mindless morons are rushing to!

CB 1 stares down at the stampeding mob of Tobe A. WiteNite, Gail, O.G. Whattapayne, Y. Lee Persimmon, Gagga DeBore, Petunia the Skunk, Inves T. Gator, Peachy Keen and Felicity Funk and, and…whoaaaa, doggies!!!

TAW: Holy Cyberspace Dribble!! (flails arms as he teeters at edge of a high cliff) Back, everyone! Don’t push!! This is a literal cliffhanger and I’m not liking it at all!

Gail: (Arm raises, half-way towards TAW’s back, ready to shove.  Hesitates and pulls arm back.)  I’m sworn to protect the innocent and the stupid.  I just can’t do it.  I swore an oath.

GDB: Woman!  Oath-smoath!  You’ll never get an opportunity like that again! And how the heck did we get HERE, anyway?  We were in the middle of town!

TAW: Does it really matter if the last episode left us in the middle of a city with skyscrapers? We are now facing a RIVER FULL OF SWIMMING CROCODILES!

Inves T. Gator: Not me, dude. Don’t care if my last name is Gator. I’m not kin to them babies down there eyeballing us like a plate of Gum Drop Island Cocoa Fluffies. (flips cellphone, dials number) Send the Later-Gater Getaway Tater. I’m outta here! (turns tail and scurries away in a cloud of dust)

YLP: Hey, wait for me. (Grabs onto Gator and pulls herself free.) Phew, that was close.

OGW: A partnership isn’t worth this!  What am I still doing here?  What?  Why, oh why?!? Didn’t I take that offer from Ambulance Chasers-R-Us?!?!

TAW: What a pain your useless chatter is, woman! If you have no bright ideas to help us cross this moat with those teeth-snapping reptiles down there, will you kindly just SHUT UP!!

Maniacal laughter is heard from across the water. Sneak M. Hijinx stands atop a boulder, cape billowing in the breeze.

SMH: So, you gullible goonies! Come to the end of it all, have you?

TAW: Deliver Nosey to us! That rascal hasn’t paid his bill!

Gail: Speaking of which, your malpractice insurance got cancelled last week for non-payment of premium.  You might wanta look into that!

YLP: Why don’t you all just shut up? What a bunch of jabberwalkers. Lord, I swear, you’d help out a lot more if you’d be quiet.

Petunia:  Quiet? Quiet you say? How can I be quiet when my heart is fit to bust with emotion and passion and excitement and feeling and sentiment and… oh, quiet, that’s the last thing I wanna be.  That’s the last thing I can be… 

GDB:  Will all you of stop babbling and FOLLOW THAT CROCODILE!!

SMH: If you all desire that ‘official unofficial’ reporter, then come get him!

FF: Where’s Nosey? HUH? Where is he? What have you done with him?

PK:  Who? Me?  Done what with whom? Nosey? Who? Me? I would sacrifice my life for him rather than harm one hair on his head.  Manner of speaking.

TAW: (snaps fingers) Yes, why not? Young ladies, sacrifice yourselves. Jump into that water!

Gail: Tobe, that’s really bad legal advice, and I just told you they cancelled your  malpractice insurance!

TAW: What’s the problem? It works in all those late-night B-rated movies.

CB 1: (points) Looky that! The Old Bag has gathered up her skirts and has plunged into the water! She’s leaping off the back of one croc over to the other!

YLP: Who you calling an old bag?

OGW: (Whips out her cell phone) Ambulance Chasers-R-Us?  Do you still have that opening for a young, eager ambulance chaser?

TAW: (gulps) They’re actually making it! Well, never let it said that the White Knight doesn’t do his job. Gail, carry me across.

Gail: Does the phrase “When donkeys fly” hold any meaning for you? That just ain’t in my employment contract!

TAW: How hard can it be? And what do you think I pay you for?

FF: Nosey, where are you Nosey?

PK:  Honey bubble sweetie pie sugar-coated almonds with chocolate sprinkleys stuckie on toppie… where are you?

Petunia: Oh listen to her. I will leap and dance and jump and spring and hop…

SMH: (eyes glint devilishly) Come along, my merry mischief-makers! There are more hijinx awaiting you on this side of the river!

CB 1: Uh oh, oh no! Petunia is trying to leap on those broad backs, but her scent! The crocs are turning belly up! Can she make it? And Gail – Tobe’s pushed her into the river to use as a life preserver!  She’s sinking with poor old Tobe clutching her eyebrows for dear life!

CB 2: We have to help! (zooms down to the river)

Does it end like this???? What might be next for the mob of mindless morons? What do you think? Stay tuned, readers!

To be Continued

Same Nosey time, same Nosey blog!

(look for us on October 17, heh heh)